


Odds Be Damned

by grilledbees



Category: Naruto
Genre: ALL ABOARD THE ANGST TRAIN, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, Heist AU, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Panic Attacks, Partners in Crime, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Thief!Naruto, Thief!Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:15:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24869758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grilledbees/pseuds/grilledbees
Summary: "I’m here for the same reason you are.” Naruto thinks he might fall into Sasuke’s bottomless eyes anddrown. They’re far more expressive than he expected. He can’t seem to look away.“For the fuckingthrill,” Sasuke finishes, flashing a grin. Naruto knows he’s easy to read. His heart rate spikes, and he can’t deny it. He lives for the rush of adrenaline; he lives for the challenge. The prospect of making a clean getaway from the Konoha museum makes his blood sing. It's what he's been dreaming of his whole life.--------OR- Naruto and Sasuke join forces to rob a museum together. What's the worst that could happen?
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 62
Kudos: 99





	1. The Worst Ideas Make the Best Stories

**Author's Note:**

> This fic started because I desperately wanted someone to write a rated E SNS heist fic. It finally got to the point of "well shit, I guess I should just do it." So here it is in all its attempted glory! This is my first real dive into plot, as I usually write smut, so don't expect some R.R. Martin-level madness. I'm having a great time with this story anyway! 
> 
> I'll add tags as I go.

Sasuke discretely eyes the blonde barista over his coffee cup, grimacing as he lets loose another roar of laughter at his co-worker’s antics. His friend with shaggy brown locks and a stupid grin basks in the attention, juggling four bottles of toppings and balancing a half-full plastic cup of iced coffee on top of his head. Sasuke mentally categorizes him as a moron. He can only assume the blonde is a moron as well if he finds it hilarious. 

Sasuke can hardly believe this is the Naruto Uzumaki he came here to scope out at Kakashi’s and Karin’s request. According to them, this idiot, son of the infamous Yellow Flash, is the best man for the job. Sasuke finds that very hard to believe, based on the last hour of observation. No way this guy is capable of some of the things he’s done in Karin’s stories. Just a short while ago, he’d watched Naruto fumble around with a roll of receipt paper for five straight minutes before he jammed it into the little printer at the register. This guy doesn’t have an ounce of stealth in his entire body. 

Sasuke inwardly sighs in disappointment. He’ll have to put his foot down, tell Karin he doesn’t make the cut and ask Kakashi to pick someone else. Literally anyone else. Preferably someone Sasuke can trust to at least change a fucking lightbulb without supervision. 

Sasuke packs up his notebook and tablet into a plain black backpack meant to help him blend in with the college students who frequent the cafe. Before leaving, he approaches the counter for a refill. It’ll be another long night looking for the final member of his hand-picked team. Naruto’s back is turned toward him, completely oblivious to a customer waiting in line. Sasuke clears his throat, failing to grab his attention. The idiot is nearly doubled over in laughter at something his friend said. 

Sasuke rolls his eyes in irritation, “Oi, dobe! Can you pause the idiocy for two seconds so I can get some coffee?” 

Naruto spins around, eyes wide with surprise then anger. “What did you call me, teme?” The blonde all but shouts in his face. 

Sasuke’s expression remains neutral as he pushes his empty cup toward the register. He resists the urge to adjust the fake thick-framed glasses on his face. “Black coffee, if you can handle it, dobe.”

Naruto scowls at him in silence for a moment, clearly weighing the pros and cons of jumping the counter to beat the shit out of a customer. Naruto narrows his eyes at him and punches a few buttons on the register before snatching the cup off the counter, turning around to fill it with freshly brewed coffee. 

Sasuke swipes his credit card, eyeing the blonde’s back all the while. He can barely make out soft mutterings about ‘stupid, entitled, hot bastards’ before the blonde returns with a full cup and pushes it toward Sasuke, almost sloshing liquid all over the counter. 

He manages to contain another eye roll and collects his cup as Naruto moves on to a young college girl in line after him. Just before he reaches the exit, Sasuke takes a sip from his cup, and almost spits it out right there in the entryway. He audibly gags as he swallows the overly sweet coffee. It must be at least half-full of some kind of syrup. 

He glances back at the blonde barista behind the counter who’s now snickering to himself with his head ducked down, a shit-eating grin stretched across his face while he steams some milk. 

Sasuke stares at him for several more seconds, trying to figure out when he dumped all that sweetener in his coffee. Sasuke had been watching him the whole time. Right? 

He leaves the cafe, immediately tosses the ruined coffee into the nearest trash can, and pulls out his phone. 

“Yo, how’d it go?” Kakashi greets. Sasuke plays the encounter over again in his mind, still at a complete loss. With the overwhelming taste of vanilla still on his tongue, Sasuke shakes his head half in irritation, half in amusement. 

“He’ll do.”

* * *

Naruto grips the sliver of paper in his hand tighter as he glances between the neatly-written address there and the faded numbers on the building. 

The dingy warehouse isn’t much to look at. Naruto supposes that’s the point. 

The building looks like an old, poorly maintained, airplane hangar with rust streaking down the corrugated metal panels. The massive structure blends perfectly into the outskirts of the industrial park. A shipping port is just to the north, connected to a major railway by a massive freight station. There’s so much activity in this area at all hours that a couple people coming and going from here would probably attract virtually no attention, no matter what time of day it was. Naruto figures Kakashi, that secretive bastard, probably has locations like this all over the city. 

Naruto shakes his hands out, tries to work up the nerve to go inside. He isn’t nervous. He isn’t. 

He’s excited. 

The silver-haired man had come to see him at the cafe the day before, uncharacteristically dressed in a crisp button down and slacks, pretending they didn’t know each other for some reason. With a phone wedged between his ear and shoulder, he’d been scheduling a conference call for the following day while counting cash for his coffee. 

Naruto had known this man for years, and knew damn well he’d never worked in an office a day in his life. So he bit his tongue and went along with Kakashi’s weird role play thing. Naruto had given up on trying to understand him a long time ago. 

Kakashi had simply slid the paper with the warehouse’s address across the counter hidden between a few singles. Naruto paused when he found it. Kakashi casually said “two o’clock tomorrow, then?” into his phone. Naruto gave no recognition, just handed off a small coffee cup to the man with the words ‘I’ll be there’ scrawled on the side, hidden under the brown sleeve covering the cup. 

The whole thing was so Kakashi, Naruto couldn’t help but scoff. Kakashi has always been a paranoid weirdo, but he’s never called on him for a job like this before, with such over-the-top theatrics. Whatever it is, it must be big. 

The sound of tires crunching on gravel behind him makes him jump. Okay, maybe he’s a little nervous. 

He calms instantly when he sees silver hair emerge from the SUV. 

“I can’t believe what I’m seeing,” Naruto calls out in disbelief. “Are you actually on time for once?” Naruto cackles at the bogus offended face he pulls. It quickly dissolves into a wide, sly smile as he gets close enough to pull his favorite pseudo-nephew into a hug. 

“Of course not. Everyone else has been waiting for an hour already.” Kakashi releases him with a clap on the shoulder, already making his way toward a door half way down the right side of the hangar with Naruto trailing behind him.

“Who is everyone?” 

“You coming?” He holds the door open for Naruto to go in first. He sighs, not bothering to push further. He’ll find out inside. He just hopes it’s not a bunch of uptight, paranoid geezers who won’t trust or respect him because of his age. 

The interior of the hangar is nothing like the outside led him to believe. The metal walls and smooth concrete floors look shiny and new. The high, curved ceiling is lined with bright lights hanging from the complex criss-crossed metal beams. Directly in front of him is a tall partition that seems to span to the other side of the hangar, splitting the space into two rooms, each about 30 yards long. To the left, Naruto spots the huge hangar door he’d been standing in front of outside. The wide, open space is barren, save for a row of vehicles that lines one of the walls. Naruto’s eyes linger, curious about what all that empty space is for.

To the right, everything looks more like a converted home. There’s a set of stairs leading deep into the room to a raised, closed-off loft. Underneath the loft is a makeshift kitchen with a refrigerator and a small table with a microwave on top. Across the massive room, Naruto can see multiple people gathered around a large stainless steel table, just in front of a desk with several monitors on it. 

Heads turn in their direction as Kakashi lets the door slam shut behind them. As they get closer, Naruto’s shocked to find he recognizes two faces in the room. 

Perched on top of the desk, legs swinging back and forth, sits his best friend, Sakura. They've worked plenty of small jobs together before. Basic smash and grab stuff, nothing too complex. She has a pretty face and a nasty right hook. She gets them in, he gets the goods, she gets them out. Dream team. 

Sakura shakes the ice around a near-empty Starbucks cup to get the last drops of coffee out. She laughs around the straw at something the girl next to her said. Fiery, red hair, thick glasses, and surrounded by computers. No question, that’s his cousin Karin joking around with Sakura. They’ve never worked a job together before, both because she’s always had an established crew, and because she’s an ass who never stops ragging on him. Logically he knows they know each other since he was the one who’d introduced them, but it’s still weird to see them being friendly like that. 

Three other guys sit around the table in front of the desk. Since he doesn’t know them, Naruto figures these are Karin’s usual guys. A jacked dude with orange hair sits on one side and offers a small smile to Naruto as they approach. On the other side sits a skinny guy with white hair, who’s meticulously polishing a massive knife. Not fucking creepy at all. In the middle, with his back to Naruto, sits the last stranger. He can only see black hair barely sticking out of the bottom of a deep purple beanie.

“Hey, Naruto! It’s about time,” Sakura giggles. 

“I didn’t think you’d ever find the place,” Karin says. 

“Hey, I’m here right on time. Blame this bastard,” He jerks his thumb over to Kakashi, who simply shrugs as if to say _yeah, that’s me._

“I thought you got held up dealing with a repeat of the Parsons job,” Karin teases. Naruto gapes at her. Then at Sakura, who looks away guiltily. 

“I can’t believe you told her about that!” He shrieks. “How could you!” Karin howles in laughter at his misery. 

“Oh, I smell an embarrassing story. Spill,” says the guy with the knife. 

“Karin,” Naruto says as seriously as possible. “I’m begging you.”

Karin grins, and Naruto knows he’s made it worse. Now she _has_ to tell the story. 

“Okay, so picture this,” Karin starts, animatedly retelling his greatest failure as a thief. “Just a simple high school boy running a solo run of the mill home invasion. Old school dial safe in the bedroom closet, which is nothing for our boy here.” Naruto groans, accepting that these people will never respect him after this. He may as well leave now. 

“Sure, sure,” knife guy grins, sensing pure blackmail gold approaching. His wide smile reveals sharp, shark-like teeth. So fucking creepy. 

“So before this, my baby cousin, total idiot, drank an entire glass of _expired_ milk.” 

“Karin,” Naruto whines. She cackles in response, vibrating with evil big sister vibes. 

“So he’s in the house. He’s got an hour to do a five minute job, right? Well. The second he gets to the closet, his stomach starts to fucking _riot_.” 

“Dude, no,” knife guy gasps in horror. 

“Dude, yes.” The evil hag gasps around her laughter to reign it in enough to finish the story. “He figures he’s got an hour, right? So he uses the bathroom in the house. An entire hour later, Naruto is still blowing up the bathroom when the Parsons family comes home.” Naruto glares daggers at Sakura. She really spared no detail when she betrayed him. 

“Oh my god, dude. What did you do?” Knife guy directs the question to him. Karin doubles over in laughter, clutching her stomach with one hand, and waves for him to take over with the other. Naruto looks to the ceiling and sighs. 

“I told him I was on a jog when food poisoning hit, that his house was closest and the door was unlocked, so I just went for it and hoped he wasn’t mad.” Naruto mumbles to the ceiling. He refuses to look down where he can hear everyone laughing at him now. His cheeks burn in embarrassment. “I was just a kid then so he didn’t question it too hard. His wife sent me home with a tummy ache home remedy.” 

“Caught with your pants down and didn’t even finish the job? Harsh, dude.” Knife guy snickers. 

“I can’t believe you, Sakura,” he whines, desperate for this to be over. 

“Sorry, Naruto. It was just too good to keep to myself,” she giggles. 

“Suigetsu, by the way,” the knife guy points his thumb to himself. “That’s Jugo and Sasuke,” he gestures with the knife. Naruto waves to Jugo, who seems friendly enough. He’s obviously trying not to laugh, for which Naruto is grateful. Sasuke twists in the chair to face him, one elbow draped over the back. He has pale skin, black bangs frame his dark eyes. 

“Dobe,” he says in greeting. Naruto’s jaw drops. 

“Coffee bastard!” He points at Sasuke in accusation.

“Hn.”

“Why are you even- Wait!” Naruto’s brow scrunches up in thought. “Were you… Were you scouting me? In the shop the other day?” 

“Hn.” 

Naruto rolls his eyes at the response. “So that’s why you were such a constipated, stuck up bastard?”

Suigetsu bursts into laughter, reaching out to shake Sasuke’s shoulder. “Damn, dude, you really got him there. That’s our Sasuke.” Sasuke scowls, jerking free of his grasp.

_Oh, so he’s always a frigid asshole. Great._

Suigetsu cracks up again, pushes himself out of his chair, and comes around to sling an arm around Naruto’s neck. 

“Frigid asshole! You really nailed it, dude.” Oops, guess he said that out loud. Suigetsu rests more weight on Naruto’s shoulders, cackling up a storm at Sasuke’s increasingly irritated face. 

“We heard you really got him good with the coffee stunt. Congrats, man. Takes a lot to catch this one off his game.” Suigetsu waves his knife in Sasuke’s direction. 

“Hard not to let your guard down in the presence of overwhelming stupidity. A natural talent, surely,” Sasuke says dryly. 

“Aw, you hear that dude? Ya got natural talent!” Suigetsu pats Naruto on the chest, barely holding back laughter. Karin snorts from the desk chair and Sakura giggles again. Naruto sputters, embarrassment threatens to overtake him again. 

“Sounds like there’s a complement buried in there, ne Sasuke?” Kakashi chimes in. Sasuke glares at the man in response. 

“Maybe we should get started,” Jugo suggests. As the only one who hasn’t contributed to his humiliation, the guy is quickly becoming Naruto’s favorite. 

“Karin, if you please,” Kakashi directs their attention to the monitors on the desk. She spins around and brings the screens to life. Suigetsu kicks a chair out for Naruto to sit between him and Sasuke. He begrudgingly takes it. 

The center screen dawns the image of a building he’s very familiar with. Another screen shows elaborate blueprints. His jaw hangs open, and he can feel Sasuke looking at him out of the corner of his eye. 

“You’re fucking joking.” He locks eyes with Kakashi across the table, and suddenly realizes why he was chosen for this. “You’re gonna rob the Konoha museum? That place is a fucking fortress. I would know!”

The National Konoha Museum of Art and Culture, located on the other side of town, houses one of the largest collections of art and artifacts in the country. It had been Naruto’s father’s and godfather’s biggest ambition to one day pull the job of the century on this museum. Minato died mysteriously on a job gone wrong when Naruto was very young, and had never gotten the chance. The same job landed Jiraiya in prison. Rumor had it they were set up by their partner, Orochimaru, who made off with the score for himself. These days Orochimaru was an untouchable philanthropist by day, ruthless crime lord by night, and Naruto had no wish to die for vengeance. 

When Naruto was just a dumb kid, he wanted to fulfill their dream and make a name for himself in one go. He worked at the museum on the security team when he was fresh out of high school. He looked for weaknesses for an entire year before he gave up and left the job. The place was rock solid. Their defenses were just too tight. He couldn’t imagine it would be worth the risk, but he never lost hope that one day he’d get another chance.

“Naruto, just listen.” Kakashi nods to Karin, and she pulls up a picture of a face he’d rather not think about. The sinister gleam in Orochimaru’s eyes sends a shiver down his spine. 

Karin takes over, “This slimy piece of shit is going to be honored at the annual gala, and a little birdie told us he’s gonna have some of his private collection on display for all the high society ass kissers to fawn over.” She pulls up a picture of a set of big, shiny diamonds. 

“These diamonds are Orochimaru’s most prized possession, and they’ll be the centerpiece of the exhibit,” Kakashi catches Naruto’s gaze. “These are the diamonds Minato and Jiraiya went down for.” 

Naruto just blinks, unsure how to untangle the ball of tension welling up in his chest. 

“They’re obviously stolen, so they’ve been recut. It reduced their value, but Orochimaru didn’t seem to care about that. They’re a personal prize for him.” 

Another image of a bright blue oval gemstone, with an almost purple gleam, pops up next to the diamonds. 

“This is one of the world’s largest tanzanite gemstones, made even more rare by the fact that it’s unheated.” He looks to Karin, hoping for a longer explanation. He’s not exactly an expert on this stuff. 

“Tanzanite is usually heated to brighten the color,” Sasuke provides. “Stones like this that are naturally bright without heating are more valuable. On top of that, tanzanite is only found in one spot in Tanzania. Once those mines run dry, the only stones will be those already in circulation. Basically, they only get more valuable with time,” He explains. Naruto nods slowly, mostly following. 

“Orochimaru came into possession of this stone legally, technically,” Karin says. “But I think Sasuke can tell the story better than I can.” 

Naruto twists in his seat to face him. “Last summer, we worked a job backed by Orochimaru. It wasn’t the first job we worked for him. The mark was a private collector in Suna, the goal was the tanzanite. Everything went according to plan until it was time to get out.” Naruto listened with rapt attention. 

“They knew we were coming. Orochimaru tipped them off. I was pursued by private security, and eventually caught. These three got away, and I was arrested. The case was eventually declared a mistrial due to jury misconduct and a bunch of inconclusive evidence.” 

“What I would give to have Sasuke’s guardian angel,” Suigetsu sighed dreamily. 

“After Sasuke was arrested, Orochimaru struck a deal with the collector in Suna, and ‘legally’ bought it off him on the cheap. Probably pressured his less-than-legal side business,” Karin says. 

Naruto digests as much of the info dump as he can. 

“So, let me get this straight. This is personal for you.” Naruto looks to Sasuke, then Karin, then Kakashi. “And you want me to make it personal too.” Naruto shakes his head. Fucking unbelievable. 

“I’m not that bright, but even I know better than to take a job for revenge. I also know not to go after that fucking snake and risk ending up in a cell or in the ground,” Naruto’s finger points at the screen where Orochimaru’s face still rests. He stands suddenly, chair falling backward, “Fuck this, I’m out of here.” 

He turns back to Sakura and Karin, “You should leave too, before you go down with them.” 

Naruto stalks off, letting the warehouse door slam behind him. 

“That went well,” Suigetsu chuckles, twirling his blade in his hand. 

Sakura jumps down from the desk. “I’ll talk to him, see what I can do.”

“I’ll go,” Sasuke gestures for Sakura to stay behind. She’s about to tell him to shove it when Karin grabs her wrist, tugging her back. Sakura looks at her incredulously. 

“Can’t hurt, right?” Karin offers. After a moment, Sakura returns to her perch on the desk, already planning to give Naruto an earful later.

* * *

Naruto grips the steering wheel with both hands, and throws his head down to rest against it. His forehead bounces against the hard surface with the force of the impact. “Owww,” he grumbles. 

His fingers tighten around the wheel to anchor him. He refuses to go back into the hangar, no matter how badly he wants to. 

Naruto knows how stupid it would be to do this job. He knows he shouldn’t get involved in these people’s revenge games. 

But damn. The Konoha museum. He’s dreamed of pulling this job for as long as he can remember.

Damn it! Why did they have to complicate everything? Naruto would have jumped on this opportunity in a heartbeat otherwise. 

Maybe there’s a way to still go through with it. If they don’t have anything weird planned for Orochimaru, maybe it’ll be okay? Maybe this won’t come back to bite them all in the ass?

Gah! He can’t believe he’s really about to pass up the opportunity of a lifetime. Worse yet, he can’t imagine how it’ll feel if they pull it off without him. Will he ever be able to let that go? 

Naruto’s eyes flick to the side as the passenger door opens, and Sasuke climbs in, slamming the door shut behind him. 

“I’m not gonna change my mind,” he says weakly. Sasuke says nothing at first, just looks around the car, eyes lingering on the piles of random stuff strewn about. 

“It’s a fucking mess in here.” 

“God, you’re such a bastard,” Naruto chuckles, finally lifting his head. Sasuke’s mouth curls in a smirk briefly before he turns his head away. 

“You’re right,” he starts, gazing out of the window. “That it’s personal for me. I’d still be in a prison in Suna if my brother hadn’t used his old undercover contacts to fuck with the trial.”

“Cop?” Naruto can’t disguise the surprise in his voice.

“Detective, but yeah.”

“You’re awfully trusting for someone who was recently stabbed in the back,” Naruto leans back into the headrest, eyes still locked on the profile of Sasuke’s face. When Sasuke turns toward him and drops his head on the headrest to mirror Naruto, he can see humor glitter in Sasuke’s eyes. 

“I’ve known Karin since high school, dobe. I’ve heard more stories about her idiotic baby cousin with sticky fingers and a heart of gold than I care to count. I know you won’t say anything.” Sasuke smirks as Naruto’s cheeks pinken. He’s not sure how to feel about that. 

“She’s only a year older than me,” he mumbles. It’s all he can think to say. Sasuke ignores him. 

“You can think what you want, but I wanted you to know I’m not in this for petty revenge. Or the money, honestly. I’m here for the same reason you are.” Naruto thinks he might fall into Sasuke’s bottomless eyes and _drown_. They’re far more expressive than he expected. He can’t seem to look away. 

“For the fucking _thrill_ ,” Sasuke finishes, flashing a grin. Naruto knows he’s easy to read. His heart rate spikes, and he can’t deny it. He lives for the rush of adrenaline; he lives for the challenge. The prospect of making a clean getaway from the Konoha museum makes his blood sing. It's what he's been dreaming of his whole life. 

“For when you change your mind,” Sasuke says smugly, dropping a burner cell in the center console. “Don’t keep me waiting, dobe.” 

Naruto stares after him, long after he’s gotten out of the car and disappeared back into the hangar. 

“Damn it,” he whispers, dropping his forehead to the steering wheel once more.


	2. You Son of a Bitch, I'm In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, I'm having such a good time writing this story. Please let me know if there's any horrific typos.
> 
> Feel free to drop a comment. They give me life!

Naruto eyes the newly acquired, nondescript cell phone sitting on the coffee table suspiciously. He fidgets with the couch pillow in his arms, absentmindedly unraveling a loose thread. His knee bounces up and down of its own volition. 

He knows he has to decide at some point. Is there really even a decision to make here?

It’s literally everything he’s wanted since Jiraiya took him to the Konoha museum for the first time when he was twelve years old, just weeks after he’d won custody of Naruto. His crazy old godfather spent the whole day pointing out security cameras and guards changing shifts, teaching him about different display cases and types of sensors, and telling him stories about his adventures with Kakashi and Minato, who Naruto had no concrete memories of. Naruto holds those stories of crime and mischief close to his heart. It’s all he’ll ever have of his father. 

To this day, he can perfectly recall sitting on the steps of the museum on that hot summer day ten years ago, eating popsicles with Jiryaiya, listening to his stories. “This place was our greatest ambition. Kept us going. We were gonna be the first to pull it off,” Jiraiya said with a sad, wistful look in his eyes. At the time, Naruto had proudly exclaimed that he would do it someday. He swore he’d be the first for them, swore he’d make them proud. Jiraiya had chuckled and ruffled his hair, telling him to enjoy being a kid for as long as he could and that he was proud of Naruto no matter what. 

The three years they had together before Jiraiya died of a heart attack, sending Naruto back to the orphanage, were the happiest of his childhood. Arguably the only years he had a childhood. Jiraiya would certainly never receive any guardian of the year awards, but he’d loved Naruto to pieces and that was always more than enough for him. He misses that crazy old bastard so much. 

As Naruto got older, he’d dropped all pretense that he wanted to rob the Konoha museum just for Jiraiya and his father. In reality, he wants to do it for himself. Yes, he wants to carry on their legacy but his desire has grown beyond that. 

More than anything, he wants to prove to himself that he can do it. He wants to go down in history as part of the crew that successfully pulled off the heist of the century. He’s spent so much of his life accumulating the skills for this. And now that his best friend, his cousin, and his father’s student, all family in Naruto’s eyes, have gathered together for the job of his dreams, he can’t help but think it’s fate. The stars are aligning for them, and if he can stick it to Orochimaru at the same time, then all the better. 

Sasuke assured him they weren’t obsessed over revenge, and Naruto inexplicably trusted him. So if he isn’t worried about that getting in the way, then what is he waiting for? 

The front door of his apartment bangs open, snapping him out of his reverie. How long has he been sitting here in silence? 

“Naruto,” Sakura shouts in a sing-song voice. “I brought take out!” He hears her clanging around in the small kitchenette of his studio apartment. 

“What the hell are you doing?” She plops down on the small couch next to him and shoves a container of fried rice in his face. He sighs dramatically before shoving several spoonfuls of rice into his mouth. 

“I’m wai-in’ fer a sign,” he says around the mouthful. Sakura smacks him on the back of the head, sending rice flying all over the floor in front of him. 

“Ow, Sakura, that hurt,” he whines, rubbing the back of his head for show though he barely felt it. “What was that for?” 

“There’s your sign.” 

“Sakura, I’m serious!” Naruto returns to his rice, leaning just out of her reach. 

“So am I, Naruto. You’re thinking about this way too hard,” Sakura pauses, poking his temple with her chopsticks. “And quite frankly, I’m worried you’re gonna hurt yourself if you keep it up.”

“God, you’re starting to sound like Karin.” Naruto swats her away, ignoring her teasing giggles. Sakura shrugs, moving some veggies around her takeout container. 

“Karin’s not so bad,” she says innocently. He spares her a glance, surprised to find her looking down into her stir fry, cheeks as pink as her hair. 

“Oh, _ew_ , Sakura! Are you for real right now? My _evil hag_ cousin?” He fake gags. 

“Oh, like you’re one to talk, drooling all over your ‘coffee bastard’ Sasuke literally a few hours ago,” she teases. 

“I was not!” He throws the couch pillow at her in desperation but she catches it easily. 

“Mhmm, you can’t fool me! He’s exactly your type. You _always_ get tripped up over the mean ones,” she unhelpfully points out. 

“Oh my _god_ , I do _not_!” She sends him the best friend look. The one that says _we both know you’re full of shit_. “Name _one_ person I’ve dated that’s mean!”

“Gaara,” Sakura starts ticking off on her fingers. 

“Gaara was just… misunderstood,” he winces, realizing it doesn’t help his case here. 

“Mhmm, _sure_. Then there was that whole shit show with Omoi.”

“Hang on, no! That was his _sister_ who tried to fuckin’ fight me!”

“Okay, but did he try to stop her? Boy, don’t even try me.” Naruto sighs. Yeah, okay, that guy was kind of terrible. The only thing he misses about Omoi is his oral fixation.

“And don’t forget about Sai,” Sakura says, now showing three fingers. 

“Okay, Sai was a little mean,” he concedes. “But it wasn’t like, abusive or something! He just teased me a lot! And he’s got a lot of weird family issues so I can’t really blame-” Sakura gives him a pointed look, and he knows he’s lost this battle. He basically just described Sasuke. 

“I’m just saying, you’ve got a type. Don’t pretend like you weren’t lookin’. I see you, Uzumaki,” Sakura says. Naruto sighs in defeat. 

“Even if I _was_ , which I will never admit in a million years, it doesn’t matter ‘cause we’re working a job together. I wouldn’t risk it,” he points out. Sakura smirks at him. 

“Sounds like you’ve made up your mind, then,” she points out. “About the job, I mean.” 

“Wah- uh- no, I didn’t mean- I just meant-” 

“Naruto. I get why you’re hesitant but c’mon. It’s the Konoha museum,” she says dreamily. “I know you can’t pass that up, so don’t even pretend like you’re going to.” 

Naruto doesn’t respond because she’s right, as usual. 

“Y’know, we really do need you, Naruto. The gala’s only eight weeks away, and we _just_ started drafting a plan.” 

“ _Eight weeks!?_ Are you insane? You can’t crack the Kohona museum in eight weeks!”

“No, _I_ can’t but based on Karin’s stories, you and Sasuke can. You’re the best picklocks I’ve ever met. And after hearing the first brainstorming session today… I believe it.”

“... What’s the plan so far?”

“Oh, no, Uzumaki. I’m not spilling trade secrets unless you’re _in_. Like, all the way in. And I _know_ you want in.” Naruto knows she’s purposefully using his curious nature against him. Sakura reaches for the phone on the table, riffling through whatever is on it. 

Naruto stares down at the empty coffee table. Is it really that simple? Is he overthinking it? Naruto tries to conjure up a mental pro-con list. 

Okay, cons. _One wrong move and he’ll die or go to jail._ That’s a big one. 

_He’ll have to work with Sasuke._ He’s not sure which list to put that on. Best not to include it. 

Okay, pros. _He’ll finally take a crack at the Konoha museum._ If he doesn’t do it, he’ll probably regret it for the rest of his life. 

Sakura tosses the phone into his waiting hands, and he quickly opens the contacts list. There’s only one number saved. There’s no name, just three eggplant emojis. 

His sputters, feeling his face heat up. Sakura breaks out in a fit of giggles, dodging another pillow Naruto chucks at her head. “You live to torture me, don’t you?” 

“So dramatic,” she laughs. “So… you’re in, right? Please tell me we’re doing this together.” 

Naruto grins back at her, mentally adding _‘working with Sakura’_ to his list of pros. “Obviously. You’d be lost without me, Haruno.” She snorts as he shoots a quick text to the eggplant number. He can’t explain why, but Naruto’s certain this is the best decision he’s ever made.

* * *

This is definitely the worst decision Sasuke has ever made. 

Naruto slams his hands on the table, leaning across to shout in Sasuke’s face, as though that will magically make Sasuke cave and do whatever he wants. Sasuke can feel bright blue eyes burning a hole into the side of his face, practically demanding he turn and meet that furious gaze head on but he refuses to give in. 

Naruto is, once again, being completely unreasonable and Sasuke sees no reason to engage in debate with someone operating on the moral code of a naive elementary schooler. They’re both adults, this is the real world, and Naruto needs to pull his _head_ out of his _ass_ before Sasuke _loses his fucking mind_. 

“Are you even listening to me, teme!?”

Sasuke digs his nails into his palms in an attempt to gather his self-control before he accidentally _strangles this overgrown child to death_. 

It’s been almost two weeks since Naruto officially joined the team, and Sasuke regrets it at least five times a day. 

The first time of the day is always when Naruto brings coffee for the crew when he arrives after a shift at the cafe. Every time, without fail, he fucks up Sasuke’s order of plain black coffee in some new, outlandish way. Today, he brought a goddamn vanilla bean frappe with ‘bastard’ scrawled on the side in barely legible marker, followed by a tiny heart. 

The remaining four times are brought on by their explosive fights. Sasuke, who prides himself on always being cool, calm, and collected, doesn’t understand how Naruto manages to bait him into a screaming match at every turn. They can’t seem to agree on _anything_ until they’ve yelled at each other about it. Sasuke refuses to acknowledge that every single argument has ended in a compromise that’s _only slightly_ better than Sasuke’s original idea. 

He just doesn’t understand their interactions at all. One minute, they’re shouting back and forth about the merits of obtaining janitor uniforms versus security uniforms, and the next they’re sitting peacefully side by side, brushing shoulders, marking up blueprints in sync as though they share one mind. The whole thing infuriates him to no end. 

But this argument is not like the others. This time Naruto is just wrong. 

“For the last time, _dobe_ , I said _no_. We do this my way. _Period_ ,” Sasuke grinds out between clenched teeth. Naruto wedges one knee under his body and curls his fingers under the edge of the table on Sasuke’s side, pulling himself even closer. Even from where he’s sitting, leaned back in his chair, Sasuke can feel Naruto’s breath against his cheek. 

“Your way is gonna get people killed!”

The rest of the crew present in the hangar don’t bother to interfere or choose sides. They stopped getting involved after the first day. Karin is playing solitaire on her computer right next to the table Naruto has practically crawled on top of, pretending they’re not even here. Sakura, much to her dismay, has been off all day scoping out some high-brow asshole so she can secure a spot at the gala as someone’s date. Jugo is on the other side of the partition, constructing a practice wall to test out their new wall-climbing gear. Kakashi suddenly left to lend him a hand as soon as their current fight broke out. And Suigetsu said he had to “see a person about a thing,” as he put it, before bolting. 

Fucking traitors. 

“Oh, for the love of- it’s just in case of an emergency!” Sasuke finally turns to face Naruto, whose face has got to be less than an inch away from his own. He stands suddenly to put some distance between them, releasing the breath he’d been holding. He looks down into the two furious blue pools trying to suck him in. 

“Oh, so it’s okay to kill people if it’s an emergency?” Naruto mocks, craning his neck from where he’s literally on his hands and knees on the table like a moron to stare up at Sasuke, cheeks flush with unbridled fury. Sasuke buries his fists in his own hair, pulling on the roots in frustration.

“We’re not gonna kill anybody!”

“Then why do we need guns, huh? Tell me, Sasuke, why do we need guns if you’re not gonna shoot anybody?”

“Fuck, fine! We’ll carry the taser kind. Happy now?” Sasuke can’t contain the sarcasm in his voice. 

“No! What if somebody has a heart condition or something?” 

“Then what the fuck do you want? You wanna go in unarmed?”

“Yes! If we run into trouble, we can just knock ‘em out and put ‘em in a closet or something.” After a beat of silence, Sasuke’s laughing in his face. Naruto’s dead serious. 

Naruto sits up on his knees on the table, getting on eye level with him, never dropping his glare. Sasuke slowly peers down at Naruto’s body which is obscured by a baggy, orange t-shirt and loose, worn out jeans. 

“You don’t look like you could even knock out a child, let alone a trained security guard,” Sasuke comments, leaning more on his impression of Naruto as a soft, warm, loving person than his actual appearance. Though he does seriously doubt Naruto’s secretly stacked under his usual horrendous, ill-fitting wardrobe. 

“I’ll prove it, then. If I can win in a fight against you, then we go without weapons. If you win, we’ll go with the tasers.”

“Why would I agree to that? We go with the tasers, end of discussion.” 

“What, you scared, teme?” Naruto challenges, flashing a playful grin, all signs of anger gone. Sasuke knows better, he really does. But he just can’t resist the pull of those baby blues, both literally and figuratively. 

“You’re on, dobe,” Sasuke murmurs, close enough to feel the body heat radiating off Naruto. Sasuke inwardly scoffs at Naruto’s smug answering smirk. He was kind of a taekwondo prodigy when he was younger. He only quit as the final ‘fuck you’ to his police chief father before he moved out during high school. Plus Itachti, who frequents the police academy as a guest combat instructor, still spars with him on occasion to this day.

After setting up the thick, black mat that Kakashi seemingly conjured out of thin air near the training wall, they take their places in opposite corners. Sasuke can feel anticipation rolling off Naruto in waves from where he’s bouncing on the balls of his feet, an infuriating smirk still donning his face.

It’s only when he’s sizing up Naruto from across the mat, and he hears Karin putting money on _Naruto_ , not him, that Sasuke starts to think he’s in over his head. Karin, his best fucking friend, put up a hundred bucks that he’ll go down within three minutes. Kakashi doubles it, betting he’ll go down in two. Sakura and Suigetsu conveniently appear in time to watch their showdown, both immediately joining the pool. Jugo sends him a shaky smile and a thumbs up in encouragement. The gentle giant is a pacifist, which Sasuke suspects is the only reason he put down money that it’d end in a draw. 

“Ready!” Kakashi starts. “Set!” Sasuke draws his dominant leg back, knees bent, arms bent at his sides in response to Naruto’s sudden fighting stance. “FIGHT!” 

In a flash, Naruto crosses the length of the mat, coming in close to deliver a series of quick jabs to Sasuke’s left side. 

_Fuck, he’s fast._

He manages to block the worst of it with his arm, and quickly twists out of reach. His feet rearrange into proper form on instinct, and they settle into a strange sort of rhythm of punching, kicking, blocking, exchanging blows over and over again. 

Sasuke tries to ignore the shouts coming from the sidelines. “Kick his ass, Naruto! Show him what Uzumaki’s are made of!” Karin yells, hands cupped around her mouth despite standing just a couple feet away. He shoots a quick glare in her direction, which he regrets immediately as Naruto closes in, his knee making contact with Sasuke’s abdomen. 

All breath leaves his lungs in an instant, but he manages to break Naruto’s hold on his shoulders, and uses the opportunity to shuffle backward just out of range. 

Sasuke retaliates with a high, swift kick in textbook-perfect form meant to catch Naruto right in the chin. Naruto shifts slightly to the side as though he’d seen it coming from a mile away, drops low to the ground, and throws his full body weight into a tackle before Sasuke can even lower his leg from the failed kick. 

His back hits the mat hard, right leg trapped by Naruto sitting on his thigh, left leg hooked over Naruto’s shoulder. Naruto quickly leans forward to pin Sasuke’s wrists on either side of his head, pushing his left knee almost into his face. The muscles in his groin burn from being forced into a near split. 

“I win.” Naruto pants in his face, grinning down at him. Naruto’s baggy shirt hangs loose around his neck, allowing Sasuke a glimpse at tan skin stretched across the toned muscles of the chest and shoulders hiding underneath. 

A bead of sweat pearls at the tip of Naruto’s nose, threatening to fall right in his face. Sasuke’s breathing just as hard as the blonde, becoming increasingly aware of the compromising position he’s stuck in. _Okay, that’s enough of that._

Sasuke slams his head forward into Naruto’s face, taking advantage of his surprise to flip them over. He straddles the blonde’s chest, two hands on his throat, applying just enough pressure to make his intentions clear but not enough to really hurt him. 

Naruto’s biceps flex under his knees so Sasuke digs them in further and pushes down harder on his throat, daring him to try anything. A trickle of blood drips from Naruto’s nose, but he licks most of it away before giving Sasuke an absolutely giddy, all-teeth kind of smile and starts choking on laughter. Sasuke releases his throat, absolutely perplexed at his reaction, but finding it hard to contain the smile creeping onto his own lips. 

“Finally,” Naruto relaxes under him, still laughing in delight. “I was worried you only had those stiff and proper moves in you, pretty boy.” 

Any semblance of a smile abandons Sasuke’s face. “Excuse me?”

Naruto props himself up on his elbows, forcing Sasuke’s body to slide down, where he now sits on the blonde’s lower stomach. “Y’know, all that classically trained, trophy winning bullshit,” he chuckles. Sasuke stares down at the man underneath him, too baffled to move. 

“Don’t get me wrong, you’re not bad or anything. I’m just sayin’, learning to fight in a proper ring with, like, rules and shit ain’t the same as learning to fight ‘cause you’re gonna get the shit beat out of you every day if you don’t.” Naruto shrugs one shoulder as much as he can in the position. He’s still grinning from ear to ear, but from this distance Sasuke can see the hard glint in his eyes that indicates he’s lived a much different life than Sasuke. 

“Hn,” he grunts. Something softens inside Sasuke, forcing him to look away rather than acknowledge it.

“So, uh, you gonna hop off or are we gonna be here a while? Not that I mind, really,” Naruto leers at him teasingly, folding his arms behind his head as a pillow. He pushes his torso up suddenly to unbalance Sasuke. 

Naruto snickers as Sasuke steadies himself, hands flat against his chest. He tries not to focus too hard on the erratic heartbeat under his palm. 

Sasuke punches him in the chest and rolls off. Naruto chokes around another wave of laughter, “Fucking bastard,” he clutches his chest in mock pain. 

Sasuke shakes his head, fighting another smile off. What the fuck is wrong with him? Naruto is just a dumbass who happens to topple his expectations at every twist and turn. No big deal. And happens to be surprisingly… hot. Christ. _Get it together, Uchiha._

One glance into the crowd assembled next to the mat and he knows he’s in for a long, loud Uzumaki-style lecture behind closed doors later. He can’t meet Karin’s eyes for more than a second because she’s looking at him like he’s fucking _busted_. Jugo’s looking particularly happy next to her, counting a thick wad of cash. 

He takes Naruto’s outstretched hand, lifting himself off the mat. Naruto uses the collar of his hideous t-shirt to wipe the remainder of the drying blood off his face. Sasuke’s mouth twists in a grimace at the distasteful act. He’ll have to remember that next time he gets the hots for his new partner. 

“So did we settle the gun controversy? I need to contact my guy soon with our little shopping list,” Kakashi asks. 

Sasuke reluctantly nods. “We can skip the weapons and just…” He trails off when Naruto presents him with such a genuine, pleased smile, the kind that lights up the whole room. Sasuke can’t remember what he was about to say. 

“Thanks, Sas, you won’t regret it!” Naruto scurries off to Karin and Sakura, where he gets put in a headlock by one and has a fist ground into his hair by the other. The three are all grins and giggles. Sasuke huffs a small laugh. He’s noticed that both of them tend to hit Naruto a lot. He would be more worried if it wasn’t obvious now that Naruto could stop it any time he wanted. 

“He’s somethin’ else, ne Sasuke?” Kakashi steals his attention back. Sasuke refuses to acknowledge that. 

Suigetsu drops an arm around his neck but he smacks it away out of habit. He’s already starting to mock him for getting his ass handed to him by “clumsy, idiotic, _adorable_ Naruto.” Sasuke has never felt so transparent in his entire life, and he has no idea how to make it stop.


	3. Two Ships Crashing in the Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one. I just couldn't find a good place to break it up. Get ready for some ~vulnerability~
> 
> Please note there is a moment that could easily be interpreted as a panic attack, but it is very brief. 
> 
> As always, please let me know if I missed any particularly egregious typos.

Naruto clenches his right hand hard to still the shaking. His fingers feel fat and clumsy, far less dexterous than usual with the thick polyester gloves on. He knows they’re necessary to prevent leaving a trail of fingerprints straight to him, but he hardly expected they would inhibit his typically nimble fingers so much.

The otherwise dark room is softly illuminated by the LED lights of the display case in front of him. The black-stained wood pedestal is topped with a glass box, protecting the stone underneath. His eyes have finally adjusted with the help of the miniature flashlight clamped between his teeth, just in time to isolate the yellow wire from the bundle inside the small hole he just drilled into the side of the case. He carefully locates the wire, pulls it as far out of the hole as possible, and snips it with a small pair of wire cutters. 

Now for the hard part. Naruto pulls the next closest wire to the hole, squinting to make out if it’s the dark green wire, which he needs, or one of the many black wires that he absolutely must avoid at all costs. His bulky fingers slip on the wire, losing it among the others in the bundle. 

“Fuck,” he mumbles around the flashlight, taking a deep breath to calm down. Sweat is starting to slick the inside of the gloves, making him overheat. He pulls two more wires out to compare in the dim lighting, finally noting one is noticeably darker than the other. He hooks a finger around the lighter one, assuming it’s green, to keep it isolated while he dives back in to find the red wire. 

Saliva is starting to pool in his mouth, diverting his attention away from the task at hand. He tries to swallow, ignoring the ache building in his jaw from clenching down on the metal so hard. 

He quickly cuts the two wires at the same time. When no alarms go off, Naruo heaves a sigh of relief. He quickly rises from his crouched position, flips open his lockpick set, and gets to work on the small built-in lock holding the glass barrier in place atop the pedestal. After a moment, the lock flips, allowing him to gently lift the glass and snatch the stone waiting underneath, easily replacing it with a different one. 

He puts the glass back in place, flips the lock, and drops down to cover the hole he made in the wood. He struggles to peel the backing off a black sticker with the gloves on, frustration bubbling up within him as the seconds drag on. _Oh, for fuck’s sake._ Naruto contemplates taking his gloves off but quickly dismisses the idea. He can do this. He finally catches the corner of the sticker, peels the backing away, quickly slapping it over the hole in relief. 

“Time,” Naruto calls out. The lights flick on all at once, making Naruto wince as he adjusts. Glancing to the corner of the room at Sasuke, who looks as unaffected as ever, he waits for the verdict. 

“Well?” Naruto presses, wiping a thin sheen of sweat from his brow with the shoulder of his t-shirt. Sasuke glances at the stopwatch he’d been monitoring.

“4:25,” Sasuke says evenly. Naruto groans, running a hand through his hair. He pulls away with a frown at the glove. _This is all your fault, stupid glove._

“That’s so bad, oh my god,” Naruto laments, already running the exercise over in his mind. For a first run, it wasn’t the worst. But he needs to shave it down by a whole lot in the next four weeks. He wonders how Sasuke’s first run will be. 

“It’s not a bad starting point. If we can both get down to 2:30, we should be good. Twelve cases, fifteen minutes. It’ll be tight but we can handle it,” Sasuke says.

“Oh ho ho, is that a compliment I hear from the King of Bastards himself?” Naruto grins.

“Don’t let it go to your head, idiot,” he scoffs, still leaning against the wall next to the lightswitch, turning the stopwatch over in his hand in a repetitive motion. 

“Too late!” Naruto laughs at Sasuke’s exasperated face. “If I make some equipment changes, I can get it under two minutes, easy,” he says, packing up his lockpick set, already thinking about trying again with the next display case. 

Sasuke gives him a skeptical look. “Under two minutes, dobe? I seriously doubt it.” 

“That a challenge, teme? You ready to lose again?” Naruto teases. Sasuke scowls in return, making Naruto cackle. 

“That would imply you _won_ last time.” 

Naruto puffs up defensively. “I _did_ win, bastard! Or do I need to kick your ass again?” Naruto cracks his knuckles.

“For the last time, dobe, it was a _draw_ ,” Sasuke feigns irritation but Naruto easily spots the way his dark eyes alight with amusement as they fall into their usual banter. 

“And you’re satisfied with that, teme?” Naruto purposefully goads him into another fight, desperate to see more of that bold, uninhibited side he showed at the end of their spar. 

Sasuke’s eyes narrow, and his mouth opens at the same time the door next to him swings open, stealing both of their attention. 

Suigetsu sticks his head past the door, one hand covering his eyes. “You dudes decent in here?” 

Sasuke smacks the back of his head, grumbling too quietly for Naruto to hear him from the center of the room. Suigetsu flashes those creepy sharp teeth, seemingly unfazed. 

“Hey, just checkin’, man! It’s so quiet up here we started bettin’ if you were fuckin’ or finally killed each other,” Suigetsu chuckles. 

“Don’t think either of those things would be quiet, Sui,” Naruto laughs good naturedly. Though it took a while to stop turning beet red from head to toe every time the guy made a joke like that, Naruto has slowly become accustomed to Suigetsu’s sense of humor. It hardly fazes him at all anymore. He can’t say the same about Sasuke. 

“Get out, Sui,” Sasuke growls out between clenched teeth, pushing him by the face back through the doorway. Suigetsu laughs loudly, unbothered by his open aggression. 

“Actually, I came up here to tell you we’re headin’ out for the night. Gonna go grab a drink. You comin’?” Suigetsu looks to Naruto, who blinks in surprise at the invitation. 

“Me? Oh, um, I mean we have the recon thing tomorrow so…” Naruto scratches his cheek, trying to decide how tired he can afford to be tomorrow. Considering his job is to just sit in the van with Karin and Sasuke, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal, right?

“So what, dude? You can take it easy for one night.”

“Are you, um, going too, Sasuke?” Naruto tries to hide the sheepish hope in his voice, locking it away in the same box he’s been stashing all his growing feelings for the moody fucker. He can totally prove Sakura wrong and do the whole _just friends_ thing. 

Sasuke sighs. “Yeah, I’m going. They won’t stop pestering me until I agree.”

“And yet, I didn’t have to try very hard at all this time, huh? Peculiar,” Suigetsu smirks at Sasuke, one eyebrow raised. Sasuke clears his throat pointedly, glaring at his friend. 

Naruto checks out of the conversation at “yeah.” He smiles wide at the ground, excited about the first real opportunity to hang out with the crew outside of work, wanting nothing more than to integrate himself deeper into the lives of his new friends. 

“Great, uh, let’s go then,” Naruto stands, pulling off the god-awful gloves with his teeth. He tosses them on top of the equipment on the floor, and looks up in time to see Sasuke’s eyes dart away, his face schooling itself into its usual unaffected mask. Suigetsu rolls his eyes, holding the door open for them.

* * *

How the fuck did he end up in this situation? 

One minute he’s in the passenger seat, blocking out the obnoxious ramblings of Naruto, Jugo, and Suigetsu discovering their mutual love of houseplants, of all things, and suddenly he’s huddled up close to the dumb blonde in a leather booth, abandoned by his friends for the dance floor, and completely drunk off his ass. 

Sasuke didn’t mean to get this wasted. 

But after losing the social cushion of his usual crew, he finds himself alone with Naruto, who seems quite committed to staying seated here with him, and an awkward resounding silence. Sasuke realizes they have nothing to talk about outside of the job, which he can’t lean on since they’re in public. 

So he drinks. He drinks a _lot_. 

At some point in the silence he would have been fine maintaining all night, Naruto’s constant fidgeting and bouncing knee starts grinding his patience down into a fine powder. Naruto has been opening and closing his mouth like a goddamn fish for the last few minutes, making their somewhat uncomfortable quiet in the busy bar more unbearable with every passing second. 

Somewhere in his impaired brain, Sasuke suspects this isn’t the best idea he’s ever had. He should make his goodbyes and go home. The cocktails he’s been pounding back are creeping up quickly, making him pleasantly warm and fuzzy all over. He distantly wonders if this is how Naruto, the big ball of sunshine, always feels. 

Rather than do what his sober self would demand of him, he foolishly gives in to Naruto’s puppy-like begging for attention and extends an olive branch.

“When did that happen?” Sasuke nods to where Sakura and Karin are getting a little PG-13 on the dance floor. _Fucking hypocrite. Lecturing him on getting mixed up with someone on a job._

Naruto’s eyes bug out of his head when Karin pushes Sakura’s pink locks out of her face then proceeds to kiss the life out of her. “Oh my god, nooooooo,” Naruto shouts, immediately slapping a hand over his eyes. “Good god, I could have lived my whole life without seeing that! How could you, teme?”

Naruto’s dramatic uproar pulls an unexpected snort out of him, which he quickly stomps down. He may be feeling more drunk by the second, but he will not suddenly start finding the dumbass _funny_. That’s where he draws the line. 

“Have you ever heard about Karin’s first date?” Naruto has no shame using this opportunity to get revenge on Karin for constantly unleashing his embarrassing stories. 

Sasuke has, indeed, heard this story before, seeing as he was there for the aftermath of it when Karin climbed through his window freshman year of high school, half crying and half laughing hysterically over how awful the date was from start to finish. _“How the fuck was I supposed to know she had a flower allergy? Who the fuck is allergic to flowers?! And I can’t believe I accidentally pushed her into the fountain. God, the whole thing was so so bad, Sasuke. Did I tell you she collects ceramic dolls? Ceramic dolls, Sasuke. Pretty sure she’s gonna haunt my ass when she dies.”_

But he lets Naruto tell it anyway, just to let him fill the silence. Somehow, it’s even funnier when he tells it, causing Sasuke to give up on keeping his laughter locked down for the night. 

By the time Naruto has ventured into Karin’s dark pre-teen years of braces, screamo bands, and parachute pants, Sasuke’s inebriation has reached fantastical new heights. 

Sasuke’s holding his chin in his hand, propped up by his elbow on the table, focusing completely on Naruto’s treasonous recounting of Karin’s most embarrassing moments. He hasn’t slowed his drinking pace, something he’ll save for later-Sasuke’s problem. He hardly notices anything outside of Naruto’s flailing limbs and rambunctious laughter. Sasuke can’t hold himself back from echoing with his own subdued snickers. 

Naruto runs a hand through his hair, leaving it even more messy than usual. There’s a single wild spike out of order, and it takes up all of Sasuke’s attention. He reaches out, almost in a trance, to fix the hair out of place to sooth his flaring OCD tendencies. 

“So I shove a handful of snow in her coat and-” Naruto halts mid sentence as Sasuke’s fingers tangle in his soft spikes. The attempt is more uncoordinated than he expected, so he brings up his other hand to help sort out the even bigger mess he’s making of Naruto’s hair, tongue poking between his teeth in concentration. 

Naruto blinks in surprise at Sasuke’s abrupt proximity, a nervous chuckle bubbling up from his chest. Naruto’s eyes dart around, posture going stiff, cheeks turning bright pink. It’s a nice color. 

When Naruto gently grabs his wrists to pull his hands away from his hair, laughing off how well Sasuke’s been hiding how drunk he is, Sasuke feels sort of detached from his delayed mortification at how he just acted. He tries to tug his wrists from Naruto’s grip for show, but only manages to get one free. Good enough. 

“So, anyways, I shoved a bunch of snow in her coat and she ran around, shrieking like a banshee. Thought she was gonna cause an avalanche! She’s never let that one go.” Naruto just carries on in a softer tone, almost like nothing happened, like Sasuke didn’t just get ridiculously, uncharacteristically, unforgivably _grabby_ like a drunk toddler. 

To make things worse, Naruto doesn’t release his wrist. It’s officially Naruto’s wrist to do with as he pleases. At least, that’s how Sasuke’s impaired brain is interpreting the light, repetitive strokes of Naruto’s thumb across the inside of his wrist. 

The realization that Sasuke doesn’t hate it hits him harder than the action itself. He fucking hates when people touch him casually, even his closest friends. He’s constantly pushing Suigetsu away. He just doesn’t like people touching him. It sets him on edge, makes him jumpy. 

But this… This is less like Naruto is invading his space, and more like a physical extension of his personality. _Fuck, that’s so stupid. Time to shut this shit down._

“Hey dumbass.” _Good start._

He’s desperate to move away from this soft and intimate atmosphere he accidentally created. “How’d you meet Karin anyway? She’s never really talked about it.” 

That’s not exactly true, but Sasuke has never heard the full story. All he knows is that it’s not an overly happy tale, so he’ll take it. Anything to redirect attention away from his embarrassing desire for contact with Naruto. 

The mood shifts into something far more serious and somber, yes, but now Naruto is absentmindedly playing with the fingers of his captured hand with a far away look in his eyes as he recounts how Jiraiya connected him with Karin and Kakashi when he was twelve, and how gaining a family changed his life. It’s enough to melt his cold, dead, Uchiha heart. 

_He should really stop getting ideas. No more ideas for him._

“The old man wanted me to have people to lean on later in life in case something happened to him, ya know? So he tracked her down and got us together. But, god, Karin and I fought, like, constantly when we met,” Naruto chuckles. 

“We both grew up in the system, ya know? We didn’t trust anyone for shit. It took a long time to start considering each other as family. And when we finally got there, old man Jiraiya died from heart problems, and I was thrown back in the home.” 

“What was it like, in the orphanage?” Sasuke finds himself whispering. How Naruto heard him over the throngs of partying people and loud music, he’s not sure. 

“Lonely,” he huffs a humorless laugh. “I was a real shit kid, always getting in fights and pulling pranks for attention. Didn’t matter that it was the bad kind, ya know? Got picked on a lot in class for my clothes and stuff. I was ganged up on by older kids in the home and at school ‘cause I was so annoying. Usually went without dinner if I caused too much trouble.”

“You never reported the home for abuse? They can’t just _not feed you_ , Naruto,” Sasuke says, outraged. 

“That’s not how the real world works, Sas. I didn’t know that was a thing back then. And what would even happen if I did? Things could have gotten worse. There was nowhere else they could send me, either. No one wanted to foster me for more than a couple weeks. No one, not a single family, ever tried to adopt me after meeting me.” Naruto shakes his head. 

“I was eleven years old when I figured out I would be a lifer, that no one would ever want me,” Naruto says flatly, without any inflection at all. He doesn’t tear up; his voice doesn’t crack. Naruto just calmly tells him the single most devastating thing he’s ever heard. 

Sasuke doesn’t respond. Nothing he can muster up will sooth Naruto’s pain. After a beat of silence, he just fiddles with Naruto’s fingers in return, which forces a small smile to crack Naruto’s carefully constructed mask. 

“Iruka, the guy I told you about, the one who’s doing us this huge ass favor tomorrow, he looked out for me when we were in the home together. He aged out when I was pretty young, but he always kept in touch and tutored me and stuff. He’s kinda like my big brother.” Naruto’s smile crinkles the corners of his eyes.

“But anyways, then Jiraiya got me out when I was twelve, and everything changed. He taught me all kinds of shit, from how to pick locks to how to pick up girls. Only one of those things turned out to be useful,” he chuckles, using his free hand to scratch the back of his head. 

“For an old geezer, he took it pretty well the first time I told him girls were ‘icky,’ and asked if his pickup lines would work on the cute boy in aftercare. He said, and I quote, ‘ _Of course it’ll work! No godson of mine will be anything less than an absolute stud-magnet._ ’” Sasuke can’t help but laugh at that. It’s worlds away from how his own father reacted the first time he caught teenage Sasuke with another guy. Well, the first and last time. 

“And did it?” 

“God, no! Everything he told me to say was, like, straight out of a shitty porno. He was such a weird guy. I don’t think he expected we’d have so little time.” Naruto doesn’t look sad, not when he talks about Jiraiya. He looks… nostalgic, almost. Like he’s talking about his favorite movie that he’s seen a million times. 

Sasuke can’t look away. He takes Naruto in with a sort of astonishment he’s never felt before. How has he healed so much from losing, essentially, his only parent? Sasuke is still raw from the loss of his mother, who he can hardly even remember anymore. Every time Itachi so much as mentions her in passing, he feels like an exposed wire, ready to electrocute anyone who so much as looks at him wrong. 

He’s simultaneously in awe of Naruto’s strength, and wishes he never needed a reason to be strong in the first place. Naruto didn’t deserve any of the things that have happened to him. 

“But, uh… I don’t know, things are good now.” He shrugs in a way that seems forced, like he’s ending the conversation because he’s been droning on for so long about it, not because he’s done talking about it. It speaks to years of teaching himself to be less annoying for others’ convenience, to keep as many ‘friends’ as possible. Sasuke feels like such an asshole, if that’s how Naruto interprets his silence.

“Don’t do that, idiot,” Sasuke insists, brow furrowed. “If I wanted you to stop talking, I would fucking say so.” 

Naruto looks at him with wide eyes, like he’s seeing him for the first time. His big blue eyes become glossy with tears for the first time since their conversation got serious. They don’t fall, but he does clutch Sasuke’s fingers a little tighter where they’ve become tangled together. 

“Last call, everybody! Last call for one more round!” The bartender shouts across the room. The lights flick on, startling Naruto out of his trance. 

“Oh my god, what time is it?” Naruto asks. 

“Where in god’s name is our crew?” Sasuke cranes his neck around, looking for any sign of the group they came in with among the few lingering bar patrons. Naruto pulls his hand away from Sasuke’s to get his phone out of his pocket. There’s a matching message from Karin on Sasuke’s phone as well, along with a couple missed calls from his brother. _Don’t be late tomorrow._ The message was sent over two hours ago. Christ, how embarrassing. 

Sasuke moves to finish his drink, surprised to find it’s a glass of water. When the hell did that happen? 

“Hm? Oh, yeah, I had a server switch you to water after, um…” Naruto gestures to his hair, looking as awkward as Sasuke feels. 

Sasuke thought he knew his limits, but this whole night is proving to him he doesn’t know jack shit about anything, really. Not about the world, not about his feelings for a certain idiot, certainly not about how much therapy he should be getting. 

“Thanks,” he chokes out, sliding out of the booth with Naruto hot on his heels. He sways and stumbles once he’s upright, but Naruto easily catches him by the shoulders before he eats shit. 

“Are you even drunk? Jesus Christ,” Sasuke mumbles as they make their way outside along with the last few stumbling patrons. Naruto just laughs. 

“I have a really high tolerance. It’s okay though, I don’t mind looking after my drunk friends.” He looks like he really means it. “But I’m so sorry for keeping you out so late. I didn’t realize the time. Let me call you an uber.” Naruto runs a hand through his hair, messing it up again. Sasuke lets it go, not willing to humiliate himself any further tonight. 

“I’m just gonna walk, dobe, it’s fine. My place is only a few blocks from here.” 

“Oh, then I’ll walk you home!” Naruto says it less like an offer and more like a fact. Sasuke is too wobbly to deny him. He can’t afford to sprain an ankle or something stupid so close to the gala. 

The stifling summer heat has receded a little since this afternoon, but the humidity still clings to Sasuke’s skin and makes his hair frizz up. He tugs his shirt away from his torso a little, hoping for a breeze to cool him down a little, with no luck. He always overheats when he drinks too much. 

After a couple minutes, Sasuke asks how Naruto is getting home since his car is back at the hangar and all the trains are down for the night. 

“I’ll just take an uber.” 

“Your place is on the other side of town. Do you have any idea how much that’ll cost right now?” Sasuke can’t let him do that. “Just crash on my couch. We’re going to the same place tomorrow anyways.” 

Naruto looks uncertain at the offer, narrowing his eyes like he’s trying to find Sasuke’s true motives. “Or don’t, whatever,” Sasuke tries not to sound so defensive. He’s never let anyone but Karin crash at his place before, and he has no idea what led him to offer now. Like he’ll be able to sleep knowing Naruto is in his living room. The moron probably snores anyway. 

“No, no, I want to! Thanks, Sas. We can make it a whole sleepover! I make a mean pillow fort!” Naruto jokes, gaining a new bounce to his step. Sasuke never thought he’d miss being called ‘bastard,’ but at least it doesn’t make his heart beat out of control. 

“Good god, my mother would have loved you,” Sasuke says under his breath. Naruto must have super hearing, because he blushes wildly at the compliment, chest puffing up with joy. 

“Really?” He sounds so happy and innocent that Sasuke blurts out more than he ever thought he’d say about her in his entire lifetime. 

“She used to make these huge forts with me when I was little. I had a hard time adjusting when Itachi started going to school, but she always managed to make me forget that he wasn’t around as much anymore. We used to tend her garden and make pillow forts in the living room almost every day. That’s all I can remember anymore. That, and her smile. I can still remember her smile.” Sasuke can’t bring himself to make eye contact with Naruto, but he knows Naruto is looking at him. 

“It never really goes away, does it? The pain,” Sasuke whispers. 

“No, but it gets easier to fill the space around it with happy stuff and make it hurt less. At least, that’s what my therapist used to say. Er, well, that’s how I remember it, anyway.”

Sasuke gives a wet laugh that comes out more like a sob, feeling unnaturally at ease opening up to Naruto. It’s a new feeling, one he feels the urge to explore the limits of. 

“Feel free to tell me to fuck off, but I have to ask. How did you end up here with a cop brother? There’s gotta be a story there.” Naruto asks. 

“A whole cop family, actually,” Sasuke says with a sardonic smirk. “My father is the chief of police at the eighth precinct.” 

Naruto gapes at him, admiration obvious in his voice. “Oh my god.”

“Oh yeah, I’m a total disgrace to the Uchiha lineage. Entire line of cops and prosecutors,” he claims proudly. Naruto whistles, impressed. Sasuke just shrugs. 

“They’re all total dicks besides Itachi, who’s a nosy little bitch.” 

Naruto bursts out laughing, “I’m sure he means well?”

“Yeah, he’s alright,” Sasuke concedes, fondness in his voice. “He always made sure I did my homework and had lunch packed for school after our mom passed. Our father, though,” he says bitterly. He veers close enough to bump shoulders with Naruto, missing the contact they had back at the bar. 

Sasuke slows their pace down a little. They’re just a block from his building, but he’s not quite ready for the night to end.

“I was too young to really get it, but he threw himself into his work after she died. He basically pretended I didn’t exist. Everything was about Itachi. Looking back, I think part of it was that I look just like her. It was probably hard for him to even look at me. Not that that excuses it at all.” Naruto’s hand knocks into his, but Sasuke resists taking a hold of it. 

“I spent a long time trying to be good enough for him to pay attention to me. I got perfect grades, reached my black belt in taekwondo at thirteen, became class president at fourteen. None of it mattered to him. The only time he would speak to me was to tell me I wasn’t meeting his expectations as fast as Itachi did. He’s fucking toxic like that.” 

The back of Naruto’s hand knocks into his again, this time on purpose. The tips of tan fingers interlock with his, loose enough that the smallest pull on Sasuke’s end would undo them. He finds more comfort in the light hold than he expected. He’s starting to think breaking down his carefully built walls is an Uzumaki trait. 

“What changed?”

Sasuke sighs. May as well be upfront about it. “He walked in on me blowing the class treasurer.”

Naruto’s jaw drops in horror, clearly making an effort not to laugh at something obviously traumatic. 

“It’s okay, you can laugh. It’s objectively hilarious,” Sasuke shakes his head in amusement. 

“Oh my god, Sas, I’m so sorry! It’s really not,” Naruto reins in his shock, waving his free hand in panic. “So what happened?”

“I thought he was gonna kill me, throw my body in the bay, and have his cop buddies cover it up, that’s how seriously pissed off he was. But he didn’t lay a finger on me. He switched me to homeschooling with private tutors, took away my phone and computer, forbade me from leaving the house, made me meet with a priest once a week. It was a fucking nightmare.”

“When I found pamphlets for conversion therapy centers on his desk, I finally ran away to Itachi’s. Never spoke to him again,” Sasuke shrugs, as if it’s ancient history. As if the memory of his father’s roar of anger that first time and the subsequent daily, rage-filled glares don’t keep him awake some nights.

“I was seventeen then. I lived with Itachi until I was twenty, saving up enough money for my own place. He knows what I do, and he’s not exactly thrilled about it, but he doesn’t nag me anymore.”

“Really? I would’ve thought he would make a big deal out of it, being a cop and all.” Naruto sounds genuinely curious, without an ounce of judgement. 

“Not anymore,” Sasuke shrugs. “I think he accepts I’m not leaving the life.”

“Why not?” 

“Same as you, I’m sure,” Sasuke smirks. A small nagging voice in the back of his alcohol-muddled mind begs him to hold back whatever he hasn’t yet spilled to Naruto. But he wills it away, not quite ready to give up basking in Naruto’s sunshine. 

“You know how it goes. It starts out ‘cause of money, then you owe a couple favors, then a few opportunities pop up you just can’t turn down, and before you know it, you’re runnin’ jobs left and right, wondering how normal people have fun watching reality TV every night while you’re off cracking safes and scaling skyscrapers like an adrenaline junkie,” Sasuke jokes. Naruto laughs, nodding all the while. 

“When Itachi got me out of that bind in Suna, I was so furious that he got his hands dirty like that for me. I chewed him out for weeks over it, told him he should have let me do the five years and get out on good behavior. I’ve never seen him so angry in my entire life. I thought he was gonna strangle me with my own spine,” Sasuke says, shaking his head. 

“You’re lucky he didn’t, you ungrateful bastard,” Naruto jokes. Sasuke lights up at being called ‘bastard’ like a Pavlovian response. He leads Naruto up the stairs to his apartment on the third floor. He can’t believe they’re here already. 

“Seriously though, Itachi sounds great.”

“He is, when he’s not being nosy as fuck, sending me random job listings or trying to set up blind dates with the most boring guys alive. Honestly, it’s like he raids accountant conventions or something.” 

Sasuke has to grip Naruto’s fingers tighter so they don’t slip away when he erupts into a fit of boisterous laughter. “God, Sakura and my friend Kiba from the cafe are the same way! They have the worst taste. It’s like they think the only requirement is that they’re also gay. It’s so ridiculous!”

“Itachi and Karin are like that too. It’s like they don’t realize there’s more on the checklist than ‘has dick, wants dick,’” Sasuke says. 

“I know, right? Takes at least a _smidge_ of chemistry, ya know? But Sakura is always nagging me to branch out from ‘my usual type’ and maybe it’ll work out for once.” Out of the corner of his eye, Sasuke can tell Naruto wishes he hadn’t let that slip. Maybe he’s not the only one a little drunk after all. 

“And what’s your usual type, _Naruto_?” Sasuke purrs, half joking, pulling Naruto closer to him when they approach his front door. His eyes drop to half mast, his lips curl into a small smirk. 

“The mean ones,” he lets slip, gaze lingering on Sasuke’s lips. His response catches Sasuke so off guard that it makes him laugh loud and deep, harder than he’s laughed in a long time. 

“It’s not funny!” Naruto shouts and smacks his chest, grinning from ear to ear. “At least, that’s what Sakura says.” 

Sasuke can’t resist. His palms flatten against the door on either side of Naruto’s head as he moves in even closer, only a few inches apart now. 

“Well is it true, dobe? Do you like it when people are mean to you?” Sasuke rakes his teeth across his bottom lip, still in Naruto’s line of sight. 

“No, just you,” he blurts out. Naruto slaps a hand over his mouth, eyes wide with panic, when his own words reach his ears. 

The confession flips a switch in Sasuke. Before he can even process the decision, he’s tugging Naruto’s hand out of his way and diving in to kiss him hard. 

As their lips crash together, it barely registers that Naruto didn’t even miss a beat. He fists the front of Sasuke’s shirt, pulling his body as close as possible. 

Sasuke finally gives in, letting himself tangle one hand deep in Naruto’s mane, tugging slightly by the root. A pleased grunt escapes Naruto’s throat when their tongues meet for the first time. He uses the other hand on Naruto’s jaw to angle their heads more, to kiss him deeper. 

Broad hands drag down the full expanse of Sasuke’s back, pausing for a firm squeeze at his waist before setting low on his hips. Naruto leisurely thumbs circles over his hip bones through his jeans. The motion alters their pace into something less frantic, more appreciative. Their tongues stroke each other in an unhurried, exploratory rhythm, lighting a fire deep in Sasuke’s gut. He hums loudly, drowning in the waves of heat washing over him. 

“Sasuke, is that you out there?” A muffled voice sounds from behind the door that’s holding them up but he can’t be bothered to pay it much attention. “Where have you been all ni-”

It feels like he barely gets to taste Naruto when the door holding them up springs open, causing them to stumble into his apartment. By some miracle, Sasuke manages to catch Naruto before he falls on his ass right into Itachi, who looks more surprised than he’s ever seen him. Sasuke’s rescue somehow keeps Naruto in his embrace. 

“Oh,” Itachi breaks the silence first. Naruto jumps out of his arms, face on fire. 

“You must be why Sasuke’s been too busy to return my calls the last few weeks. Pleasure to meet you…” Itachi extends a hand. Sasuke has never regretted giving Itachi a spare key for emergencies more than he does at this moment.

“Um, Naruto?” He shakes the offered hand, but he’s looking at Sasuke, eyes wide with alarm, like he’s just now considering if giving his real name was what Sasuke would have wanted. Sasuke is too furious with Itachi to focus on much else. 

“Got a last name, Naruto?” 

“Fuck off, Itachi. Stop running background checks on my friends,” he growls, inwardly cringing at calling Naruto his ‘friend.’

“Come, now, Sasuke. I’m simply trying to get to know your new boyfriend. No need to get so defensive, otouto.” Itachi hasn’t let go of Naruto’s hand, something that does not go unnoticed by Sasuke.

“Oh, uh, wah, I don’t- gah,” Naruto panics and yanks his hand back from Itachi. “IshoudgetgoingokaygoodnightSasuke” Naruto squeaks out, two octaves above normal. He tries to run out the door, but Sasuke slams it shut before he can. 

“You don’t have to go anywhere, Naruto, Itachi was just leaving,” Sasuke levels his best death glare at his brother, though he knows it’ll have no effect. Itachi raises a single eyebrow at the protective display before he gives a gentle smile Sasuke knows is total bullshit. 

He’s a fucking shark that just caught a whiff of fresh blood in the water. Sasuke gives him a week, tops, before he catches Naruto’s trail, connects him to the job, and puts the whole thing together from the little bits and pieces he’ll scrounge up from his sources. Itachi didn’t become the youngest detective on the force by luck. 

_Fuck._

“Any day now,” Sasuke gestures to the door behind him. Well, behind where Naruto is cowering behind him, practically clutching the hem of his shirt like a toddler hiding behind his mother from a stranger. 

“Very well, Sasuke. I look forward to meeting you again, Naruto.” When Itachi shuts the door behind him, neither of them have moved an inch, nor taken a single breath. 

“I’m… not really sure what just happened, but I’m really sorry Sasuke. I’ll give it a minute then get out of your hair.” Naruto sheepishly curls in on himself when Sasuke turns around. 

“Don’t be stupid, Naruto, you’re sleeping on the couch like I said,” Sasuke is so tired he almost forgets he made out with Naruto not even five minutes ago. Almost forgets how _good_ it was. 

Sasuke finds him a pillow and blanket before abruptly abandoning him in favor of his own bed. They only have four hours to sleep before they need to get up and meet Karin by the museum. 

Sasuke tosses and turns the whole time. The more the alcohol bleeds out of his system, the deeper dread settles in his gut. 

The things he said to Naruto tonight, he’s never uttered to a single soul. He’s in way too deep. How did this happen? 

And now Itachi is on his trail like a goddamn bloodhound. When he finds out Orochimaru is the mark, Sasuke honestly doesn’t know how he’ll react. 

God, fuck! This is exactly why you don’t get involved with someone on a job. It somehow always turns into a fucking mess. Not only did Sasuke lose his wits so badly he blocked out an entire crowded bar for several hours, he also got loose-lipped about some of the cards he plays closest to the chest, and to a veritable stranger. 

Karin’s lecture from last week repeats over and over in his head like a funeral march. He hasn’t forgotten a single word of it. 

_Don’t go there, Sasuke. Not only are you working a job together, but he’s also my baby cousin. I love you to death, Sasuke, but you’re too emotionally unavailable for him on a good day. He’s been through a lot and deserves more than you’re probably ready to give him. Please, just don’t do it._

All of Sasuke’s reassurances that he wasn’t interested in fucking up the job, and that Naruto wasn’t interested in him anyways went over her head. He stopped whatever rebuttal she’d been forming in its tracks by doubling down on the fact that Naruto’s just a natural flirt, and he obviously wasn’t interested in him like that. She dropped it after that, but not before commenting she wonders more and more every day which one of them was really an idiot. 

Sasuke sighs, sitting up in bed, kicking off the constricting sheets. He rubs the heels of his palms into his sore, tired eyes. It’s him; he’s the idiot. He was completely out of control tonight, lost all sense of time, logic, and instinct. 

Sasuke’s hands begin to quake from the deep-seated fears that he’s been holding off all night. White-hot terror sparks in his chest, making his throat tight. He hugs his knees close to his body, wishing desperately that he could take it all back.

The last time he let his guard down, he was betrayed and wound up in jail. The time before that, he was made to feel like a criminal in his own home by his own father. How many times is it going to take before he learns his lesson? Given the opportunity, people will hurt you. The more they know, the less they can be trusted.

It’s time to pull back from Naruto, he decides. He can’t lose himself again like he did tonight, especially with Itachi sniffing around.

Naruto might hate him, but there’s no way around it. He’ll stop whatever this is building between them in its tracks, here and now. Then he’ll be safe again behind his walls where no one can touch him. 

It’s for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeaaaaaaah... Let's be honest, Sasuke's never had the soundest logic reasoning skills...


	4. Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Thanks for reading and commenting. You make me so happy. 
> 
> And in return, I am here to make you sad and/or frustrated. XD

The downside of being a barista is that it takes enough caffeine to give a regular person a heart attack just to get Naruto out of bed most mornings. 

Today, it takes four cups of coffee and half a dozen donuts with frosting and sprinkles for Naruto to finally open his eyes enough to focus on the screens inside Karin’s surveillance van. 

Note to self: don’t stay up all night getting drunk when you have to be somewhere at the ass crack of dawn. 

He insisted they made time to stop beforehand, and Sasuke must have been too tired to fight him on it, because they showed up to the meeting point at 8 a.m. on the dot with a giant box of coffee and two dozen donuts in tow. Naruto may be in desperate need of a toothbrush, some deodorant, and a fresh set of clothes, but he has his priorities sorted. 

Naruto sneaks another glance at the brooding bastard on Karin’s other side, noting the dark circles under his eyes and the clench of his jaw every time Naruto makes a too-loud joke about Karin’s van. He must be incredibly hung over, probably has the headache of the century. 

“It’s _supposed_ to blend in, you complete dolt,” Karin rolls her eyes, adjusting the sound and video settings with a bunch of buttons and switches and mashes of her keyboard that Naruto doesn’t care to pay attention to. 

“Yeah, sure, it’s supposed to look boring and whatever, I get that. But why does it say Wilson _Painting_ LLC, and then list a bunch of unrelated shit like flooring and welding and carpentry under the phone number? Doesn’t make any fuckin’ sense!” Naruto insists, sucking the last of the pink frosting off his fingers. 

“Back me up here, Sas! Tell Karin it doesn’t make any sense.” Naruto waits for his backup, smug grin preemptively taking over his face. After several moments of silence, Naruto leans back to look at him behind Karin’s back, confused to find Sasuke looking steadfast at the screen even though nothing’s started yet. 

_Wow, he must still be really tired._

Naruto lifts his hand to nudge him on the shoulder, ready to crack a joke about his hangover, when Sasuke unmistakably leans just beyond the reach of his stretched out fingers. His thick black bangs block most of his face from this angle, but Naruto can see enough to know his dark gaze never falters from the screen. 

Naruto lets his hand drop like dead weight in shock. 

Okay, another note to self: Sasuke is a lovely, wonderful drunk and a horrible, dead-to-the-world bitch when hungover. 

Naruto gave him a pass for the silent treatment this morning since he knows Sasuke’s not a morning person, especially not with the mother all hangovers, but it’s been at least two hours now. 

Is he mad about the thing with Itachi last night? Oh, god, is he mad Naruto kissed him? Did Naruto take advantage of him? Wait, no, Sasuke kissed him first. Wait, was he not supposed to kiss him back? Is that wrong? Is that not consensual? Oh my god, did he force himself on Sasuke?! How much does he even remember of last night? 

He hasn’t said more than “get up” to Naruto today, which he grumbled with a harsh kick to the couch to jolt him awake, so Naruto has no clue what’s going on inside his head. 

“Take it up with Suigetsu, if it means that fucking much to you. His stupid ass makes all our vehicle decals and shit,” Karin says. “Alright, here we go, shut up now.” 

Naruto lets his spiraling thoughts go for now, focusing instead on watching his plan unfold. 

On the video feed, Iruka, who’s now a professor of art history at the college near the cafe, is guiding his freshman class into the museum for a guided tour. Conveniently, Naruto’s knucklehead protege, Konohamaru, happens to be taking his class this semester. 

Naruto had to beg and beg and make all kinds of insane promises to get Iruka to arrange this for him. He’s semi-retired from the life, but will make the occasional exception for the right price. Which, in this case, happened to be a year of free Ichiraku ramen. Naruto’s froggy wallet is already feeling the pain. 

Though he suspects Iruka actually agreed because it’s much less risky than one of Naruto’s crew being seen on camera inside the museum right before a bunch of shit goes missing. Every single person about to become an accomplice in that tour group has a verifiable reason to be there right now, a clean record, and will have airtight, indisputable alibis the night of the gala. 

Through the tiny body cams Karin set up on Iruka, Konohamaru, and his two little hooligan buddies, Naruto gets a good look at the familiar high sculpted ceilings and impressive marbled floors. He kind of wishes he could see this place again for the first time, and relive the magic that Jiraiya had instilled in his life through it. He kind of misses his time working security here, walking the halls looking for camera blind spots and stuff. 

The tour itself is a series of boring-as-hell monotone explanations about huge paintings made by a bunch of old dead guys. The tour guide is a little old lady wearing a maroon vest with the museum logo printed on one side of the chest. She gets a tiny spark of joy in her eyes when she looks at the works of art, and then it's back to lifelessness the second she looks at the bored students. _Wow, these cameras are amazing. Kakashi can really get his hands on anything._

Konohamaru dutifully plays the part of an apathetic student completely bored out of his mind at the back of the group. He looks anywhere but at the tour guide, fidgeting with the ends of the blue scarf he always wears even though it’s the middle of summer, giving the camera a great view of each exhibit room. Naruto is relieved to see there haven’t been any layout changes, that their blueprints are all up to date. 

As the group leaves one of the exhibits on the second floor, Konohamaru lingers behind, slipping away as the rest of them enter the next room. He sneaks off to an empty corridor made up of mostly supply closets, and proceeds to pull a Juul out of his pocket to start vaping directly in front of a security camera, looking around the corner to make sure the coast is clear for show. 

Konohamaru makes sure to deliberately give his body cam a good view of the skylight above him too, just like Naruto asked. The natural light seeping in through the glass panes reflect off a hanging piece of art, a permanent installation meant to perk up a drab space more than draw spectators. Still, Naruto always thought this was a sort of hidden gem in the museum. The light shines bold colors onto the plain walls during the daytime. It made his old guard shifts a little bit more interesting. He feels bad they’re planning to ruin it. That skylight is their way in.

Within ten minutes, Konohamaru is ‘caught’ by a mid 40’s rent-a-cop looking security guard who should really just _shave it_ rather than keep up the illusion of hair that’s badly thinning on top of his head. Naruto vows right then and there to just buzz it all off if he ever gets like that, ‘cause _fuckin’ yikes._

Someone must have pissed in this guy’s coffee and ate the last donut in front of him this morning because he’s way more interested in yelling at Konohamaru in a weird power display than he is in following protocol. 

A few minutes later, poor Iruka is getting the same treatment in a tiny administrative office while Konohamaru cowers in shame behind the guard. A quick glance around and, yep, the office still doesn’t have any cameras. There’s nothing valuable in this room, just some locked filing cabinets filled with old maintenance forms and personnel paperwork. 

On another screen, Moegi and Udon continue the tour with the rest of the class, led by the apathetic tour guide. She finally brings them to the last stop, the inspection room, where they verify everything is real before it goes on display. Moegi casually positions herself just right at the front of the group so that her body cam is in line with the keypad on the door as the museum employee punches in a series of numbers. 

Karin zooms in and focuses the camera. “Got it,” she murmurs. Naruto sighs in relief. One down. 

The room is nothing special. It has a few tables and cabinets full of testing and restoration tools the museum staff need to do their… museum-y stuff. Nothing worth stealing is actually stored in this room or left unattended here either. The only thing that makes it special is where it’s located in the building. 

The inspection room has two keypad-protected entrances. The front door they just came in through, and the back door, which lets out into the exhibit room Orochimaru’s collection will be displayed in during the gala. It’s a terrible setup for a museum, really, but that’s the kind of stuff that happens when hundred year old buildings get renovated over and over again to make space for more collections, more offices, more storage spaces. 

Back in the tiny office, Iruka is still getting reamed by this smug power-tripping asshole. Naruto’s actually surprised he can hold his temper long enough to keep the guard distracted so Konohamaru can do his part. 

“Smoking in the building is prohibited, a breach of museum safety and security policy! This is a direct violation of Title ten, Chapter forty-eight of the Konoha Penal Code!” the guard yells in Iruka’s face for the third time.

 _Ugh, why does he even know that?_

The guard crosses his excessively hairy arms over his chest. Poor guy. Hair everywhere but where he really wants it. 

“I am _so so_ sorry, sir,” Iruka lays it on as thick as possible, clasping his hands together to really sell the pleading, creasing his tweed jacket at the elbows. “I can assure you that I will personally ensure he faces disciplinary action through the university, but I really don’t believe getting anyone else involved will benefit anyone here. He’s just a kid who made a dumb decision. I understand it was against the law but there’s no need to press charges over something like this.”

This guy should have called for a supervisor by now. Maybe he is the supervisor. Either way, he’s obviously not going to run this up the chain of command. Iruka’s been doing his best to stroke the man’s ego, but he’s starting to lose his tight grip on his temper, Naruto can tell. Iruka needs to change tactics quickly before he snaps and wrecks everything. 

Iruka must feel the same way because there’s a slight pause before he gently lays his hand on the man’s forearm, giving him his best doe-eyed innocent professor look. “Please, sir, surely there’s no need for us to take up any more of your time. You must be very busy protecting the museum.” Iruka says sweetly, giving a small smile with a tilt of his head, then sags in relief when the guard blushes faintly. 

It’s a testament to his many years in the business that Iruka’s gaze doesn’t drift down to the guard’s utility belt, where Konohamaru carefully lifts his keys and access card from behind the guard’s back in the blink of an eye. Konohamaru quickly swipes the card through the card reader Karin gave him and takes a clay imprint of the two keys. A flurry of ones and zeros quickly load onto another screen inside the van. Naruto assumes that’s a good thing from Karin’s smirk. 

The guard clears his throat, clearly flustered by Iruka’s over the top advances. “I suppose I can leave this in your, um,” his eyes quickly dart to Iruka’s hands subtly caressing his arm then back up, “ca-capable hands, professor.” Iruka slides his palm up the arm to grip his bicep through the uniform polo. 

“Thank you, sir. I _really_ appreciate it.” Naruto worries he’s exaggerating to the point it’s not believable but the look on the guard’s face says anything but. Konohamaru takes the opportunity to put back the keys and access card. He sends Iruka a cheeky thumbs up. 

“Stay out of trouble, kid,” the guard turns to Konohamaru, who’s scratching the back of his neck and grinning guiltily from ear to ear, a habit he certainly picked up from Naruto. 

As they exit the office, the guard leads Iruka out by a hand on his lower back. Naruto owes him so bad for this. Iruka twists away from the guard’s hand as it drifts even lower. Yeah… Iruka is gonna demand free ramen for the next ten years for putting him through this shit.

* * *

Karin leans back in her chair, raises her arms over her head to stretch her stiff muscles. “God, I forgot how boring museums are.”

“You just have no taste,” Sasuke says blandly, looking down at his nails. 

“Oh, like you’re one to talk! I still have the pictures from your fashion disaster days. I’m sure Naruto would be _very_ interested in seeing them,” Karin says with an evil, sly smile. Naruto instantly perks up beside her. 

“Naruto would _very much_ like to see these pictures,” Naruto says, propping an elbow on her shoulder, leaning forward enough to see Sasuke on her other side too. 

Karin fully expects Sasuke to retaliate, exclaim they can both fuck right off and that Naruto will never see them as long as he lives or there will be hell to pay. She braces herself for the slew of scream-flirting about to erupt between her two favorite people. 

Sasuke doesn’t even bat an eye. “Do what you want, Karin. I don’t care,” Sasuke says, completely uninterested. 

_What the fuck?_

Karin looks at Sasuke like he’s sprouted a second head. She looks to Naruto in confirmation, but he’s just staring at Sasuke with a concerned, confused look. She has no idea what to make of this sudden shift in character but she _does not like it._

“Fine,” Karin says defiantly, pulling out her phone, eyeing Sasuke in her periphery but he doesn’t so much as twitch. After rifling through a special folder in her pictures, she hands it over to Naruto. And as much as she’s disturbed by Sasuke’s behavior, she really can’t pass up this opportunity that’s been gifted to her by the blackmail gods. 

Naruto eagerly snatches the phone from her, and his jaw drops. He immediately doubles over in laughter, clutching at Karin’s shoulder with one hand, double-tapping the screen to zoom in with the other. 

“ _Holy shit, Sasuke._ What even is that? Wait- oh god- is that belt made of… _rope_? Where did you even find those pants and that- oh my god. No. _Nooooo._ You _made_ this yourself, didn’t you?” Naruto practically shrieks, not bothering to wipe away the tears leaking out of the corner of his eyes. Karin laughs with him because she really can’t help it, but she’s watching Sasuke all the while. The clench of his jaw and flare of his nostrils aren’t as subtle as he probably thinks. 

“Okay, in all seriousness, I have to know,” Naruto struggles to keep a straight face, “ _Why_ is so much of your chest showing, Sas? And- oh my god- look at that _pout_ \- I just can’t!” He bursts into laughter again.

“How old are you here?” Naruto asks. When Sasuke says nothing, Karin supplies, “He was fifteen in that one. He made me take about a _million_ pictures before he was happy with that one.” 

“So before everything happened. How could your dad not have known by then? You may as well be wearing a rainbow flag!” Naruto jokes. Karin stills, bewildered, looking from Naruto to Sasuke. Sasuke remains unmoved. 

She stares at him for several seconds while Naruto chatters on about the ‘very tasteful’ temporary tattoo on his lower neck. 

She’s never told Naruto a single thing about Sasuke’s life, out of respect for his irrational need for privacy. It’s also why she never introduced them before this job. Sasuke would _not_ have appreciated her pushing new friends on him for no reason. 

Which can only mean Sasuke told him himself. 

His dark eyes briefly flicker to hers, and in that moment, she has two realizations.

One, Sasuke let Naruto in. This wouldn’t be a big deal to most people but this is Sasuke, who’d literally rather serve life in prison than talk about his feelings. Which means Sasuke actually cares about her idiot cousin far more than she thought possible. 

Two, Sasuke _regrets_ it, and he’s making a tactical retreat, like the chicken-shit little prick he is. And Naruto, her sweet baby dumbass, has no fucking clue. 

_Jesus Christ, now what?_

She needs a strategy. No, she needs a fucking drink. These idiots will be the death of her. She should get paid for this shit. 

“Sasuke,” she says carefully. 

“Don’t,” he whispers back sharply, too low for Naruto to hear over his oblivious guffaws. 

“Sasuke,” she chastises. He whips his head around to deliver the finest death glare she’s ever received. It’s not enough to scare her away, but it does clue her in on how committed he is to this ridiculous attempt to be permanently unhappy. _Fuck._ This requires backup. 

She shakes her head in exasperation, eyes closed. God help her. 

“You know what, _fine_ ,” she says, gathering up her backpack and reusable water bottle. She needs time to think. Hopefully whip up a miracle. Maybe conjure a demon. In other words, she needs to call Itachi. 

“I’m gonna go find that okonomiyaki joint we passed earlier. Don’t crash my baby.”

“W-wait! You’re not coming with us?” Naruto nervously stutters, looking between her and Sasuke. So he’s not as oblivious as she thought. She almost feels guilty for ignoring the desperate pleading in his eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m fuckin’ out of here,” she plucks her phone out of Naruto’s death grip. “I can’t take any more of you two’s bullshit right now. The constant screaming was better than this.” 

She gives Sasuke a pointed look, which he returns with a flat stare. 

“Don’t wait up,” she waves over her shoulder without looking back, and slams the van door shut behind her. 

She spares a glance at the picture still pulled up on her screen, snorting a small laugh, before scrolling through her contacts for ‘Nosy Bitch (EMERGENCIES ONLY).’ 

It rings once before connecting. 

_“Hello, Karin, what a pleasant surprise. How are you?”_ Itachi’s smooth, deep voice greets her. God, what a slimy try-hard. 

“Sasuke’s a self-destructive idiot,” she starts. 

_“Yes.”_

“I need your help,” she says reluctantly, rushing to cross the street before the light changes. She waits for the negotiations to start. Itachi never does anything for free. 

_“Does this, perchance, have anything to do with Naruto Uzumaki, the charming professional thief my little brother brought home last night?”_

Well shit. This job is turning into such a cluster fuck.

* * *

Naruto flinches when Karin slams the heavy van door shut. It emphasizes the silence between him and Sasuke even more. 

Great, now he’s alone with the weirdo clone-robot Sasuke. 

He could strangle Karin for calling them out for acting weird. It’s not like it’s _his_ fault Sasuke’s all butt-hurt about something. Er- maybe it is his fault, but he can’t fix it if Sasuke doesn’t tell him what’s wrong! 

Naruto clears his throat, breaking the tense silence. “Sasuke, um, I think maybe we should talk about-” Sasuke ignores him, and continues climbing into the front seat of the van, probably to take them to the rendezvous point. 

“Sasuke!” he yells. Sasuke doesn’t even flinch. He calmly turns the key, and the engine rumbles to life. Naruto clambers into the passenger seat. “Why are you ignoring me?” he shouts. 

“I’m not ignoring you. Put your seatbelt on.”

Naruto deflates. Sasuke won’t even look at him. Now that he thinks about it, Sasuke hasn’t made eye contact with him even once today. He hasn’t looked into those big, expressive eyes since right before Sasuke kissed him the night before. 

“Sasuke, please look at me,” his voice doesn’t shake, a minor miracle. 

“I’m driving, Naruto.” Sasuke smoothly pulls out of the parking space, and starts them on the familiar route to Ichiraku where they’re meeting Konohamaru for lunch. Sasuke keeps his eyes firmly on the road. 

He’s not sure what he expected. It’s not like he thought they’d be, like, lovey-dovey now that they kissed. He didn’t expect to gain a boyfriend overnight or something. But… they’re still friends and that should be more important than-

Oh. 

_Oh._

Naruto has lost plenty of friends before when they’ve grown tired of him or he’s outlived his usefulness. He’s not sure why he’s so surprised this time; he’s not sure why it stings so much more this time.

Naruto swallows back the tears threatening to pool in his eyes, turning to gaze out the window instead to hide his face. 

Maybe it’s because he finally felt like he and Sasuke were getting into a rhythm, finally connecting. Maybe it’s because Naruto hasn’t felt like this about anyone in a long time, maybe ever. Maybe it’s because the anniversary of Jiraiya’s death is coming up, and that always makes him a little crybaby. 

Whatever the reason, Naruto hasn’t felt this alone in another person’s presence in years. 

It seems stupid now but he really thought Sasuke was different from all the ‘fake friends,’ as Sakura puts it, that he’s had in the past. 

Naruto thought he finally found someone he could be himself with. He thought he’d found a safe haven in Sasuke. Losing that, even just the idea of it, hurts more than all the other lost friendships combined. 

He feels so stupid for tricking himself into believing, once again, that someone cared about him, only to have it ripped out from under him without so much as a ‘haha, joke’s on you, dobe.’ 

He has no one to blame but his own overactive imagination. 

When they pull up to Ichiraku, Naruto gathers as much courage as possible, steels his nerves, and pastes the most convincing smile he can muster onto his face before turning back to Sasuke. 

“You ready?” Naruto’s voice only wavers a little. It’s hardly even noticeable. It’s fine. He can do this. 

“I’ll wait here. He doesn’t need to see my face,” Sasuke says, scrolling through his phone with a bored expression. 

“Oh… Yeah, sure. I’ll be right back then. What kind of ramen do you want?”

“I don’t want anything.”

“Okay… I’ll be back in a minute then.” Naruto slams the door shut behind him with far more force than necessary. 

When he gets inside and Konohamaru wraps his arms around Naruto in greeting, he can’t help but squeeze the kid as tight as possible. He may be the same height as Naruto now, and technically an adult, but he’ll always be a little punkass kid to him. 

“Hey, bro, what’s up?” Konohamaru laughs. “You good?”

Naruto pulls away, a small, genuine smile lighting his eyes. “Yeah, I just missed you!” 

Konohamaru pulls Naruto down into a stool next to him at the counter. Old man Teuchi doesn’t even ask for their orders, just waves and starts making their usuals. 

“Hi, Teuchi, how are you? How’s the family?” Naruto asks. 

“Oh, we’re all doing well, thank you for asking, Naruto,” the shop owner smiles warmly. 

“Good, I’m glad. Would you mind making mine to-go, please?” Teuchi nods and goes back to preparing their orders. 

“You were so great today, Konohamaru! Iruka’s gonna kill me but seriously everything went so smooth. Couldn’t have done it better myself,” Naruto praises.

“Does that mean you’ll teach me how to fight with a knife now?” Konohamaru asks eagerly. 

Naruto laughs and ruffles his hair. “Did you perfect disarming someone with a knife yet?”

“Ugh, _no_ ,” Konohamaru groans, pushing Naruto’s hand away. 

“Then there’s your answer,” Naruto shrugs. 

Konohamaru complains about Naruto’s reluctance to teach him anything dangerous until their food is ready. Naruto picks up the takeout bag dropped on the counter, leaving cash in its place, and heaves the backpack Konohamaru brought with him onto his shoulder. He ruffles his hair one more time, just to be an asshole. 

“Seriously, I’m proud of you, Konohamaru. Stay in school, punk,” Naruto waves on his way out, grin slowly fading away the closer he gets to the van. 

Before opening the door, he perks up as much as possible. 

It’s fine. He’s fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took a while. I rewrote the museum tour scene three times, and still didn't end up quite happy with it. But alas, who gives a fuck? 
> 
> Next time: Intervention?


	5. A Sight for Sore Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to those leaving kudos and comments! I live for the validation!

Okay, so maybe he’s not fine. 

Naruto’s thoughts run in circles all day, every day. His brain is a constant loop of _‘What did he do wrong? Why won’t Sasuke look at him? Maybe if he decks Sasuke in his beautiful, stubborn face he’ll knock that stupid blank expression right off. What did he do wrong? Why won’t Sasuke be his friend anymore? What did he do wrong?’_

Naruto hasn’t slept in days. He can’t remember the last time he ate a real meal.

He figured it would have gotten better by now, but it’s getting worse every day. Every time he’s forced to interact with Sasuke, it twists the knife in his chest a little bit more. 

They’ve moved onto getting their gala entrance perfect. Naruto and Sasuke plan to scale a back wall of the two-story museum, and enter through the pretty skylight away from the crowd. Sasuke is stiff and quiet, even _polite_ , during their practice runs. And he _still_ won’t look Naruto in the eye. It’s deeply unsettling. Whenever Sasuke has to speak to him directly, he looks off to the side or stares at Naruto’s forehead. It’s so _impersonal_ , and that’s what’s driving him crazy. 

Naruto’s exhaustion finally catches up with him when he’s twelve feet above the ground, climbing the practice wall, reaching for the next handhold on the path that Sasuke laid out above him. 

When his weak grip slips, he instinctively tries to right himself, but over-corrects in his distracted state. His foot slips from the lower peg he’s standing on, sending him tumbling down to the ground at a neck-break speed. 

“Naruto!” Sakura’s voice calls out in concern as the safety rope saves him from hitting the ground. He dangles at the end of the rope, three feet above the floor, and swings harshly into the practice wall face first before grabbing the nearest handhold to still himself. _Ow._

He doesn’t even have the mental energy to be embarrassed by, essentially, tripping over his own feet.

“Naruto, are you okay?” Sakura runs her hands all over him, checking for injuries once he gets down. 

“I’m fine, Sakura! Just extra clumsy today,” Naruto laughs hollowly, scratching the back of his head. 

“You’ve been out of it for like two weeks, Naruto! What’s up?” Sakura’s brow furrows with worry. He doesn’t want her to look at him like that. He doesn’t want her to worry about him. She should be all happy and stuff about her fledgling relationship with Karin, not fussing over him. It’s not fair to them to take up their attention. 

Sasuke finally descends from the wall, walking over to where Sakura has pulled Naruto into a chair to check his face to make sure his nose isn’t broken. 

“What happened?” Sasuke asks, looking at Sakura’s fingers gingerly pressing along the bridge of his nose. 

“Nothing, I just slipped,” Naruto says with a tight smile. “Everything’s fine.” Sasuke doesn’t look convinced, and neither does Sakura. 

“You’ve also gotten slower,” Sasuke adds. Sakura whips around to face him, eyes burning in disbelief. 

“That’s all you have to say? There’s not gonna be any safety net for the real deal! If he falls, he could die!” 

“Hey, hey, Sakura, calm down! It’s okay!” Naruto takes her hands in his, bringing her attention back to him. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”

“Naruto, just tell me what’s wrong- and don’t say you’re fine! I’m sick of you and Karin both not telling me shit! Something happened, didn’t it?” Sakura pleads with him. He fumbles for an excuse, not wanting to deal with this in Sasuke’s presence. Sakura glares at Sasuke once more. _“What did you do?”_ she snaps. 

Sasuke looks back at her with that blank stare that tears up Naruto’s insides. 

Naruto laughs, much too loud, to break the tension. “Sakura, so dramatic! I’m fine! It’s just, uh,” Naruto looks away, not able to lie straight to her face. “It’s just that, um, Jiraiya’s anniversary is next week, ya know? I’m just distracted. I’ll be fine by the gala.” 

And, well, it’s not a total lie. The anniversary _does_ fuck with him every year. But it hasn’t been this bad since he was a kid. 

Sakura grabs his face with both hands, squishing his cheeks together, forcing him to look into her tender, green eyes. “Fuck the gala,” she says softly. “I’m worried about _you_ , Naruto.” 

“He said he’s fine,” Sasuke interjects, ignoring the glare he receives in return. “Can we get back to work, now?” 

“Fuck off,” she spits. 

“Why are you even here? Shouldn’t you be seducing Bowl Cut?” Sasuke puts his hands in his pockets and leans his hip on the table Naruto is sitting at. 

“His name is _Lee_ , asshole, and he’s actually a really nice guy. He’s traveling for work right now. Besides, he already asked me to the gala, so I’ve done my part.”

“Hn.” Sasuke’s not even talking to him, and it’s still the closest they’ve come to their old bickering routine since the night at the bar. Naruto doesn’t think he can do this anymore, at least not tonight. 

“Ya know, actually, I’m getting a massive headache. Think it would be better if I went home, got some sleep. That cool with you, Sasuke?” Naruto directs his question to Sasuke’s feet. There’s a long enough pause that Naruto thinks maybe he didn’t hear him, but he can’t bring himself to look up.

“Go home. You look like shit,” Sasuke says, voice teasing, walking away before he can reply. Naruto snorts, his mouth twitching into an amused smirk. _Fucking bastard._

* * *

Sasuke does his best to treat Naruto like he would treat any given stranger. In some ways, it’s the easiest thing he’s ever done. He’s got acting cold and untouchable down to a science. It takes little effort on his part. But in other ways, it’s the hardest thing he’s ever attempted in his life. Because it’s _not_ a stranger. It’s _Naruto_. 

_Naruto_ , who happily kicked his ass in a sparring match. 

_Naruto_ , who held his hand when he summoned the courage to talk about building pillow forts with his late mother and being outed to his homophobic father. 

_Naruto_ , who kissed him so earnestly and thoroughly that he would have floated away if his fingers hadn’t been tangled in those soft, blonde locks. 

_Naruto_ , who fits in so perfectly with his friends, fits so perfectly in the life he’s built for himself. 

_Naruto_ , who holds the potential to demolish his whole world, considering how much of his heart he’s unintentionally given him. 

Treating this man like a stranger is nearly impossible. Being around Naruto gets harder every goddamn day. Sasuke’s so close to slipping, but if he does, it’ll be like bulldozing through a dam. If he gives an inch, his idiotic, dobe-happy heart will take a fucking mile. Or a hundred miles. 

If he so much as looks into those bright blue pools, Sasuke’s as good as gone. He’ll give anything, do anything, say anything, just to be in Naruto’s orbit again. It would be fucking amazing, too, while it lasted. The fallout, however, of losing Naruto after wholly letting him in, would destroy him. A betrayal from _Naruto_ would kill him. 

His resolve almost crumbles, yet again, when Naruto’s grubby hands press against the glass of the deli counter, eagerly pointing at all the meats and cheeses he wants on his sandwich. His first instinct is to nudge Naruto’s shoulder and say _‘knock it off, dobe.’_ It’s so stupid, so _simple_ , but it almost collapses his determination to stay detached. 

On their way back to the hangar for another long night of planning and practice, Naruto attempts to start a conversation with him, but he _just can’t_. Sasuke is an all-or-nothing kind of person, and he’s already come too close to giving in tonight. 

The rest of the ride is quiet. Sasuke navigates through the industrial park by muscle memory. If he wasn’t so lost in thought, he might have noticed the familiar, unmarked Toyota parked next to Naruto’s beat up hunk of junk outside the hangar. 

Naruto clambers out of Sasuke’s passenger seat, and rushes to the side entrance. He throws the door open, making his way to the big metal table to the right. “This is gonna be the best sandwich of my life!” Naruto shouts. 

Sasuke sincerely doubts it since the moron’s sandwich is piled high with meat and cheese, slathered with _three_ different sauces, and contains not a single vegetable. If that’s the best sandwich the dobe has ever had, then he seriously- 

Sasuke slams into Naruto’s back, which feels like hitting a wall despite being roughly the same size. Naruto abruptly stopped in front of him for no apparent reason. Sasuke gears up to yell at him, mostly to cover the fact that he should have been paying closer attention, but manages to dial it back a few notches. 

“What the _fuck_ , Naruto?” 

“Uh…” Naruto squeaks out. Sasuke steps around him, instantly coming to a full stop on his right side. 

“Fuck,” Sasuke whispers, caught off guard by the man sitting at the table in front of Karin’s computers. He’s reclining in a chair at one end, loose ponytail pulled over one shoulder, facing the door as though he’d been waiting for them. With one knee crossed over the other, hands clasped in his lap, Itachi stares back at him with an unreadable expression. 

“You shouldn’t be here, Itachi,” Sasuke shoots him a glare. He recovers from the shock, quickly barreling into anger. Itachi stares back, unimpressed. His gaze slides to Naruto, who looks like a frightened newborn fawn who’s been cornered by a predator. 

“You’ve been reckless, Sasuke,” Itachi’s voice is smooth and low. Sasuke has to strain his ears to hear him properly. “It’s just like you, otouto, to run in head first without all the information.”

“I’m doing just fine, aniki. You shouldn’t be here. I don’t want your hands any dirtier because of me.”

“My hands have been dirty for far longer than you’ve been playing at ‘heist mastermind,’ little brother. You’ll want to hear what I have to say.” Sasuke manages to contain his surprise at Itachi’s admission. A story for another time, one without an audience. 

Itachi throws a thick file on top of the table with a satisfying _smack_. Sasuke’s curiosity gets the better of him. He walks up to the table and flips it open. Inside, Naruto’s whole life’s story is detailed in the pages, staring back at him. From his family and friends, most of which are dead or in prison, to every place he’s ever lived and worked, his official criminal record, and the jobs Itachi suspects he’s been a part of in Itachi’s neat scrawl in the margins. It’s all in there, wrapped into one neat little package. 

There’s even a cute mugshot of him grinning like crazy at the camera, shirt mysteriously absent, and covered in body glitter. The trespassing charge that went with it was dropped on a technicality. The officers were so flustered by ‘the suspect’s flirtatious advances and suggestive comments,’ they failed to recite his Miranda rights at the arrest. Sasuke would find it funny if he wasn’t so confused. He thumbs through a few more pages, waiting for Itachi to make his point. 

“Imagine my surprise when the Konoha PD received an anonymous tip this morning that the Konoha museum may be targeted by thieves in two weeks.”

Itachi’s gaze doesn’t waver from Naruto for even a moment. “The same night that my dear otouto is planning to rob that very museum.”

That’s when he sees it. 

Under several layers of irrelevant bullshit, there’s an old photograph of a bunch of kids standing outside a shabby looking building next to a large sign that says ‘South Konoha Home for Boys.’ He can clearly see a young Naruto, maybe sixteen, front and center with his arm thrown around the neck of an expressionless guy with pale skin and dark hair around the same age. _Sai._ One of Orochimaru’s creepy goons. 

Sasuke’s vision swims. _It can’t be._

_Naruto couldn’t- he wouldn’t-_

“You’ve got a rat, Sasuke,” Itachi quickly pulls a gun from the back of his waistband, pointing it in Naruto’s direction. Itachi doesn’t move otherwise, but Sasuke knows he doesn’t need to stand to shoot Naruto right between the eyes if he feels so inclined. 

Sasuke looks Naruto in the eye for the first time in nearly two weeks, and what he sees knocks the breath from his lungs. At first, Naruto looks _hurt_ and _scared_. He looks so unbearably _sad_ at the implied accusation. A second later, and he looks so _relieved_ to see Sasuke is looking at him. Naruto heaves a huge breath, tears welling up in the corner of his eyes, seemingly not caring about the gun pointed at his face. 

_No, it wasn’t Naruto._ Sasuke feels foolish for even considering it. Naruto isn’t capable of something like that. Sasuke’s such an idiot. 

When Sasuke hears the subtle _click_ of Itachi’s pistol being cocked, he unconsciously moves before he realizes what he’s doing. He steps in front of Naruto without hesitation. 

Staring down the barrel of Itachi’s gun, Sasuke growls out, _“Don’t.”_

“It’s a trap, Sasuke. He sold you out.”

Naruto immediately interjects, “ _What?_ Me!? What are you talking ab-”

“No, he didn’t,” Sasuke says with finality. “If there’s a leak, it’s not Naruto.” 

“Sasuke,” Naruto murmurs behind him, voice thick with emotion. Sasuke can’t handle it. 

“He’s too stupid to pull off something like that,” Sasuke says fondly. 

“Bastard,” Naruto smiles. 

Itachi gives Sasuke a small smile and lowers his gun. He ejects the clip, showing Sasuke it was never loaded. _What a nosy-ass meddling prick._

“No, it wasn’t Naruto,” Itachi agrees. “It’s a coincidental connection. A blast from the past, if you will.” Sasuke’s eye twitches at his phrasing. Itachi looks highly amused. _Asshat._

The blonde sits at the table to leaf through the file. After his initial surprise at seeing information about himself in it, he looks genuinely impressed. He snickers at the mugshot Sasuke found earlier. “Good times,” he says to himself. 

“How do you know Sai?” He asks Naruto. 

“Hm?” Naruto looks back up at him, smiling, already over the whole gun-in-face incident. “Oh, we dated off and on when I was a teenager. We were in the same home for a while, too, when his guardian lost custody of him. You know him?” 

Sasuke quells the twinge of jealousy flaring up inside him. He clears his throat, “Sai works for Orochimaru.” 

Naruto’s eyes widen in surprise. “Oh, really? I haven’t talked to him in years. I mean, he’s reached out a few times, but, well, I never reached back,” Naruto shrugs. Somehow, that doesn’t make Sasuke feel any better. 

“How could you date that psycho?” he demands. Naruto rolls his eyes, laughing at Sasuke’s outburst. 

“Oh, like you found the love of your life at sixteen?” Sasuke thinks back to some of the people he dated in his baby-gay years. _Fair enough._

“Hn,” Sasuke concedes this round. 

Itachi tosses another file on top of Naruto’s. This one is much thicker. Naruto flips it open without prompting. The picture inside is one Sasuke knows well. _Orochimaru._

“You’ve been quiet, Sasuke. Too quiet,” Itachi says. “Orochimaru is a smart man. Did you think he would forget about you if you kept your head down?”

Sasuke doesn’t have a retort for that. Quite frankly, it’s something he should have considered. Orochimaru is a greedy piece of shit. The second he got wind that Sasuke wanted to leave the fold, the man turned on him. It was as if Sasuke was his possession, and if he couldn’t have him, then no one could. 

As well as he knows Orochimaru, that snake knows him just as well. He probably deduced that Sasuke would target him through the gala without any informant at all. 

Sasuke joins them at the table, and takes the opportunity to look through the file Naruto got bored with. The moron pulls his forgotten sandwich out of the takeout bag and happily munches on it while Sasuke browses the file. It’s filled with information on Orochimaru. All his dealings in the last decade. Information that was clearly not acquired by legal means, considering the crime lord isn’t in prison. 

This file wasn’t put together overnight, of that much he’s certain. There’s dozens of notes detailing Orochimaru’s habits and weak points. Information gleaned from countless informants indebted to Itachi. 

“I believe there’s a way we can both get what we want, otouto. Interested?” Itachi knows he’s hooked. Itachi wouldn’t have come this far without every step of the way planned out. 

“Hn.”

Itachi unleashes his ‘charming’ smile on Naruto, who’s licking his fingers clean. It’s disgusting, but he looks so cute and innocent when he does stupid things like that. “Naruto, could you please tell Kakashi he can come down from the loft now? We have work to do.” 

Naruto nods, “Sure, ‘Tachi, be right back!” Sasuke twitches again at the nickname. Five minutes ago he was staring down the barrel of Itachi’s pistol, and now they’re best fucking buddies? What the fuck. 

Naruto jumps up from the table in search of Kakashi. Naruto seems more energetic than he’s been in weeks. It soothes the sting just enough for him to let it go. 

Once he’s out of hearing range, Itachi turns to Sasuke, and he can feel the lecture coming. “He’s cute,” Itachi smirks as Sasuke’s jaw clenches. _Get your own dobe._

“More importantly, he’s not Fugaku, otouto,” Itachi says gently. Old fears lance through him instantly. He knows that. He’s certain, now, that Naruto wouldn’t hurt him like that. He can’t say for sure why he didn’t see it before. It’s obvious. But some things are hard to let go of. He needs _time_. “You don’t have to fight it so hard.” 

“I’m not-” 

“You’re not what, Sasuke? You’re not in love with him? Please, spare me your convoluted emotional crisis. We have more pressing matters to discuss. We have to find a way to keep you out of prison, _again_ ,” he says dryly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you really REALLY wanted Karin and/or Sakura to knock some sense into Sasuke and make him see the light, but let's be honest. That boy gets to where he's goin' at his own pace and if he's gonna hear anyone out, it's his big brother. 
> 
> Now, what's Itachi's plan? And why is Naruto so damn cute? Askin' the real questions.


	6. New Low

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting so patiently for this chapter! I hope you like it even though it's on the short side. 
> 
> FULL DISCLOSURE, there's a panic attack in this chapter. If it's too much for you, I totally understand. If anything gets to you, just drop a comment on where you left off and I can fill in whatever you missed. Don't push yourself, please.

Itachi wasn’t fucking around when he said Sasuke had been reckless. 

They were _seen_ staking out the museum. By fucking _Kabuto_ , Orochimaru’s creepy ass right-hand man. Sasuke has always hated that pompous asshole. 

According to Itachi’s inside man, Kisame, who has been climbing the ranks to Orochimaru’s inner circle on Itachi’s behalf for the last three years, Kabuto only got two pictures. One of Karin, with her signature fiery hair, getting out of their van, which explains why they were spotted so easily. The other was a picture of Sasuke’s face through the driver’s window as they were leaving. 

Sasuke’s pride as a professional thief is in tatters, but at least he doesn’t have a traitor on his hands. The only other consolation is that Naruto, who can only be seen in a blurry reflection on the windshield, is not identifiable. He could easily be Jugo or Suigetsu. Orochimaru believes Sasuke would never work with anyone outside his inner circle, considering he never has before. Which gives them an advantage, however slight. 

The next day when the team, short of its newest members, assembles to sort out their next steps, Karin scoffs and says, “it’s about time your epic trust issues actually do some good, for once.” 

Sasuke vehemently disagrees. His trust issues have done an excellent job of alienating anyone who could possibly violate his hard-to-earn trust, which is the whole reason he has trust issues in the first place. So really, they’ve done _only_ good, in his eyes. But he’s not willing to have that particular fight, yet again, with Karin at the moment, so he lets it go with a patented “hn.” 

Thankfully Naruto isn’t here to tag team against him. Since they have to assume Orochimaru’s watching their every move now, Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi have to keep their distance until this is all over. Sasuke has been too wrapped up in damage control since last night to sort out where they stand now that Sasuke is more or less over his bullshit, anyway.

“So how are we gonna fix this shit? Orochimaru _and_ the cops know we’re coming. That’s kinda game over, dude,” Suigetsu says. He’s giving Sasuke a dejected look from across the table, where he’s straddling the back of his chair. Sasuke’s seen that look before. It’s the one he gets every time he thinks something is a terrible fucking idea, but he’ll still ask ‘how high’ when Sasuke tells him to jump. 

“Nothing changes,” Sasuke says. “Itachi’s got tabs on what the cops are doing, and we’ve got a plan to throw Orochimaru off our trail.” 

“Dude, short of faking our deaths, how the fuck could we possibly convince Orochimaru to let his guard down?” 

Sasuke smirks, almost looking forward to Suigetsu’s reaction. “About that…”

* * *

Naruto rolls over, throwing his arm out to silence the alarm howling at him. He doesn’t even bother to hit snooze. He’s been awake the last three and a half hours anyway, not that he’s counting. He feels like complete shit, and he can’t even pretend to be surprised. 

He grabs his phone from the night stand even though he knows he doesn’t have any notifications waiting for him. 

Today’s the day.

_August 19th._

Worst day of the year. 

For Naruto, August 19th usually means sitting in front of gravestones, convincing all the people who have left him behind that he’s happy and living a full life, whether he believes it himself or not. 

This year, August 19th is the day he sits in a surveillance van with Kakashi and watches the shittiest, dumbest plan he’s ever heard go down. 

Today’s the day Sasuke dies. 

Well, not for real, obviously. But it still doesn’t sit quite right with him. 

Karin gave him the option to sit this one on the sideline. He’s not needed. But he just… couldn’t take the out. He’s not going to leave Kakashi alone to deal with it if shit somehow hits the fan, no matter how many times he was reassured that the plan is solid. And it’s not like he can’t use the distraction, anyway. 

Orochimaru’s collection is being escorted via armored vehicle to the museum by none other than Kisame, Orochimaru’s personal security for the gala. Sasuke’s crew is going to make a mad dash for the truck like their goal is the jewels, when really, they’re only there to get fake-shot and narrowly escape with ‘fatal’ wounds. 

Okay, so it’s not the worst plan he’s ever heard. Or maybe it is. Sometimes Naruto’s not a great judge of these things. But with only a few days left until the gala, they don’t have many other options at this point. 

By the end of the day, Orochimaru will be off their backs, and Sasuke will have successfully faked his death. Totally manageable. 

Naruto reaches out for his other phone, the one Sasuke gave him, just to double check and- yep- radio silence, as usual. Great. 

Naruto peels back the covers to get ready for his shift at the cafe. His whole body aches in disapproval, demanding he get back in bed and get some real sleep. 

By the time he clocks in at 6 a.m., and Kiba starts in about the ‘hot chick’ he gave his number to yesterday, who actually used it, for whatever reason, Naruto is seriously missing his bed. August 19th sucks. 

And it only gets worse from there. His whole shift at the cafe is a verifiable natural disaster, a category 5 shit-storm, a “fucking kill me, please” on Naruto’s personal 1 to 10 bad-day scale, at least a 9 on that earthquake scale. Whatever. It’s fucking bad, okay? 

Two people call out, leaving them short staffed, which karmically means they get a whole fuck-ton of people more than usual during the morning rush. A whole crowd of people from a conference or something come in at the same time at 8. Naruto doesn’t think they’re from around here, either, because he’s never gotten so many weird ass back-to-back orders in his life. 

Someone clogs the toilet around 9 and was too stupid to know when to _stop flushing it_ , and _of course_ Naruto drew the short straw to deal with it. At 10:30, Naruto is forced to skip his break because a trainee dropped an entire gallon of iced tea on the floor, and he doesn't know where the mop and shit is. 

So by 12:30, when it’s time for him to clock out, and his manager opens her mouth to ask him if he can stay and cover for another call-out, Naruto delivers his best impression of the Uchiha death glare, and sends her scurrying away with her tail between her legs. Naruto is beyond tired, his feet hurt, he’s got a killer dehydration headache building up, he’s about to pass out from hunger, and he really, _really_ has to pee. Plus he’s got a van to get to. 

Naruto walks the mile and a half to the meeting point while devouring a bunch of chocolate croissants he comped for himself, because _oh yeah_ , his car also refused to start this morning. 

When he climbs into the back of the secondary surveillance van and sees Kakashi fiddling around with a bunch of buttons and shit, he barely finds the energy to say hello before he collapses into the seat next to him. 

“Yo,” Kakashi says. “You look terrible, kid. Rough day?”

“The worst.”

“The 19th, huh?” Kakashi has never faulted him for being a brittle bitch around this time of year. They don't talk about it, but Kakashi has his own day of the year he wishes he could forget too. 

For a couple hours there, he did kind of forget. While he was having his sanity torn apart by a tornado back at the cafe, he was too busy holding the place together to think about it. But there it is, back in full force. 

Jiraiya died ten years ago, today, clutching his chest in pain while he died of a heart attack in Naruto’s arms in their home. It happened so fast, there wasn’t even time to call an ambulance. There wasn’t even time to say goodbye. 

“Yeah,” Naruto replies, trying to stay focused on the video feeds Kakashi has pulled up. Looks like he made it just in time for this shit to get started. 

Everyone is wearing a body cam, and the van they’re using has a few cameras on the outside too. He recognizes it’s the same van Sasuke and Karin were spotted in, which he guesses makes sense. 

Naruto tries to stomp down his discomfort at seeing his friends in bullet proof vests, and holding guns with practiced ease in perfect HD. To look real, this has to go down exactly how Sasuke and his team would have planned it without his loud-mouthed interference. _It’s fine. They’re blanks. It’s not real._

Naruto watches them quickly approach the armored truck parked at the museum loading dock. A massive black guy, who, for the record, looks like he could crush Naruto’s skull with his hands alone, pops open the back door of the truck. 

“That’s Kisame,” Kakashi points to the guy who might star in Naruto’s next nightmare, like that’s supposed to make him feel better. 

They pull up suddenly, tires squealing with the sudden stop. Like a storm falling over the truck, Sasuke and Jugo jump out of the back of the van in a flash like an actual two-man tactical team. Sasuke hits Kisame square in the back before he can even turn around. 

The loud _bang_ of the shot makes Naruto wince. He’s really not a fan of guns. Kisame jolts forward from the 'force.' Naruto kinda wonders how realistic this is going to look without any bullet holes, but he also believes Itachi has it all figured out already. 

Kisame spins around as he draws his own gun, and crouches down to hit Jugo in the shoulder, since he’s closer. From one of the van cams, Naruto can see a spurt of _very_ real-looking blood gushing from where he was ‘hit.’ Jugo’s responding one-handed shot hits past Kisame into one of the swinging truck doors with a high-pitched _ping_ , and _holy shit those aren’t blanks._

Naruto stands up, ready to… something. He doesn’t know what he can do at this point because he’s unarmed, and several blocks away from them, but he can’t just _do nothing._

Kakashi snags his wrist, pulling him back down. “Naruto, calm down! Kisame’s using blanks! I promise. Karin’s controlling the fake blood. I promise.” 

Naruto isn’t breathing. He thinks. It’s a little hard to process anything at the moment. He thinks he’s sitting down again. _It’s not real. Jugo’s not bleeding. Kisame is wearing a vest. It’s not real._

Sasuke steps toward Jugo, probably to draw attention to himself. When Kisame turns to him, Naruto’s pretty sure his heart stops beating. 

Sasuke takes a ‘bullet’ to the thigh. He staggers, almost falling to his knees. The pained look on his face is far more convincing than Naruto likes. He wonders if Sasuke’s been shot for real before. 

In return, Sasuke shoots Kisame in the meaty part of his shoulder. Which means that’s _real_ blood soaking into Kisame’s light blue button down, and _real_ pain twisting his features, because _Sasuke just shot him for real, oh my god._

Within a split second, Kisame raises his gun with his non-injured arm with scary accuracy, and fires a blank at Sasuke’s collarbone near the neck. More blood- _fake blood_ \- erupts from Sasuke’s body. Except it’s, like, a lot this time. It’s soaking into his shirt, dripping in small pools onto the ground. 

_“Sasuke!”_ Jugo’s blood-curdling scream shakes Naruto to the core. _It’s not real._

Sasuke’s body jolts back as he drops his gun. One of his gloved hands covers the ‘wound,’ and his body goes limp just as Jugo catches him. Jugo lays down some cover fire in Kisame’s direction, which he drops to the ground to avoid. Jugo quickly gathers Sasuke in his arms despite his ‘wounded’ shoulder and jumps back into the van. Suigetsu floors it, tires screeching as they drive away, presumably for medical attention. _It’s not real._

For a moment, the world goes dark. Naruto can’t see anything. There’s also a deafening ringing sound that won’t go away. Naruto can’t feel his arms. Or, anything, actually. And he’s _definitely_ not breathing this time. _It’s not real._

Actually, that’s not true. He’s only breathing _in_. He tries to breathe out but it won’t budge. It’s stuck. His whole mind, body, and soul is stuck in the moment Sasuke clutched at his neck with shocked agony etched into his features and reached out to Jugo for help. _It’s not real._

And suddenly, it’s not Sasuke in pain and dying. Short, dark hair turns long and white. Pale skin turns tan. He’s got age lines and face tattoos. But his pain stays, and so does Naruto’s helplessness. Jiraiya is dying in Naruto’s arms all over again. Jiraiya is fisting Naruto’s neon orange shirt that’s too big for his fifteen-year-old body with his free hand, opening his mouth to say _something_ but no sound comes out. _It’s too real._

_“Naruto!”_

Hm, that sounds important. Like he’s in trouble for sneaking out of the orphanage after lights-out again. 

_“Naruto, can you hear me?”_

Jesus Christ, yeah, he gets it, no dinner again tomorrow. Just lay off already. 

_“Naruto!”_ A sharp smack across his cheek brings him back to reality. The black and white spots dotting his vision start to clear away. The ringing in his ears isn’t quite as loud as it was before. 

His eyes flicker open- _oh, guess they were closed_ \- and he’s confused to find Kakashi leaning over him where he’s laying on the van floor, shaking his shoulders. He’s got a wild, worried look in his eyes. Naruto hates it. 

“Sorry,” Naruto’s voice fails halfway through. Kakashi won’t let go. That’s when Naruto realizes his whole body is trembling. Violently shaking, more like. Oh, and he can’t breathe again. Fantastic. 

“It’s okay, Naruto, you’re gonna be okay,” Kakashi says gently. Naruto flinches. All he hears is Jiraiya’s very visceral voice, telling him _“It’s okay, Naruto, you’re not alone anymore.”_

Holy hell, he really shouldn’t have quit therapy. 

Naruto pushes Kakashi away, scrambling to his knees. He can’t breathe in here. 

“Naruto- where are you going? You should-” 

“I’m fine- promise. Don’t tell Karin,” Naruto grunts out before he slams the van door behind him and takes off running down the street even until his lungs are burning and his calves are begging for mercy. _It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE next chapter things start looking up. Especially 'cause this was heavy for me and I'm ready to get to sexy times! lol
> 
> And just to drop some spoilers: Naruto and Sasuke may be hashing out their shit next chapter. 👀
> 
> I literally wrote this in one sitting after procrastinating for like two weeks so please let me know if I missed any typos. I didn't want to keep y'all waiting any longer than I had to.
> 
> Anybody else ever had a food service or retail industry shift where literally _everything_ goes wrong? Good lord, the stories I could tell from my years as a server/bartender.


	7. Retrouvailles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's earn that rating, shall we?

“What the fuck are you wearing?”

Sasuke lifts his head, pausing his task of toweling as much blood as possible off himself before trekking it all over the wood floors of the safehouse. Karin is lounging on the couch, staring at Suigetsu, barely containing her laughter. He’s just emerged from one of the bedrooms wearing a glitter-plastic-rhinestone patchwork abomination of a jacket over a simple tank and jeans.

It’s one of the most confusing pieces of clothing Sasuke has ever seen. Karin is well within her right to call him out on it. 

“It’s a fucking jacket, Karin,” Suigetsu snaps, already on the defensive. He moves to cross his arms over his chest, but the jacket is far too restricting in the shoulders so he’s forced to drop his arms to his sides. He tries to recover by putting his hands in the pockets, but they’re so small his fingers don’t jam in all the way. 

The transparent, purple plastic material creaks and squeaks loudly with every movement, breaking the silence that fell over the room. Karin and Jugo burst into laughter at Suigetsu’s awkward fumbling, and Sasuke isn’t far behind them. 

“Oh, fuck all of you!” Suigetsu yells. “You wouldn’t understand! It’s _cool!_ This is _fashion!_ ” 

There’s a beat of reined in silence before they start cackling at Suigetsu’s expense once again. 

“No, it’s really not,” Sasuke calls out, snickering at Suigetsu’s embarrassed sputtering. Karin is doubled over on her side, slapping the couch cushions every time she looks up at him through her tears. Jugo has one hand on the wall in the entryway to hold him up, the other wrapped around his torso like it hurts to laugh that hard and he’s trying to hold himself together. 

Sasuke lets himself laugh fully, a grin stretching across his face with it. He hasn’t felt this lighthearted since the night at the bar, before he fucked everything up with Naruto. That feels like ages ago. Was that really the last time he felt happy? 

He throws the blood-soaked towel in the trash bag at the door and slips his shoes off. He’ll clean those later. Right now, he needs a shower and some food. The adrenaline has finally worn off and he’d love nothing more than to crawl into bed. He’ll need his rest for when Naruto and the rest of the crew come over later anyway. 

Sasuke is determined to fix what he broke. When Naruto gets here, Sasuke will fumble through an apology, and if Naruto doesn’t hate his guts, then they’ll go back to normal. Back to how things were before the bar. And if Naruto does hate his guts, well, he probably deserves it. 

“Sui, please take it off,” Jugo says, wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes. Sasuke and Jugo both wince when Suigetsu turns to face them full on, light catching the rhinestones around the collar to shine brightly right in their faces. “It’s literally blinding.”

_“Jugo,”_ he whines, betrayal written all over his face. “Not you too! You’re supposed to say you love it and I pull it off way better than anyone else could!” 

Jugo shakes his head apologetically. “I’m sorry, Sui. You can wear whatever makes you happy… except for that.” 

Suigetsu pouts, and crosses his arms about half way before he remembers he can’t and throws his hands up dramatically. Karin cackles, pushing her glasses up into her hairline to wipe the tears from her reddened face. 

“None of you appreciate my sparkle!” Suigetsu screams over his shoulder as he retreats into the bedroom. 

They’re still doubled over when Kakashi barrels through the front door, slamming it behind him in his race to the living room. He comes to a dead stop in front of Karin, sweat trickling down the brow of his pale skin. 

“What’s wrong?” Sasuke asks, all laughter forgotten with one glance at Kakashi’s stricken expression. Glancing at his phone, he notes that it’s not even 2 p.m. Not enough time has passed to know if their plan fooled Orochimaru. And there’s no way they were followed. They made sure. 

“Naruto took off and he’s not answering his phone. He had a-” Kakashi glances to where Sasuke and Jugo are rooted in place before turning back to Karin, whose face is growing more grim with every word. “ _Y’know_ and bolted. I’m sorry, I couldn’t stop him.” 

“What did he have?” Sasuke interjects but goes ignored. 

Karin’s brows furrow, her mouth tightens into a thin line. “Mother _fuck_. I begged him not to come today. Did you check-”

Kakashi interrupts, shaking his head, “I tried to follow but the van couldn’t fit down this alley off 34th street and by the time I circled around, I lost him. I came straight here after.” 

Karin nods, getting up from the couch. “Get Sakura on the phone. It’ll go faster if we split it up.” 

“What are we splitting up?” Sasuke asks, getting frustrated. Karin digs through one of the duffel bags slung in the corner of the room for a hoodie. She puts it on, pulls her hair into a low ponytail, and jerks the hood over it, effectively hiding her bright red hair from anyone who would recognize it. 

_“Hey Kakashi, how did it go?”_ Sakura’s cheery voice rings out into the room. Kakashi is holding the mouthpiece in Karin’s direction where she’s gathering her stuff from all over the living room. 

“Maa, Sakura, mission was fine but we got a problem.”

_“What happened? Is everyone okay?”_

“Hey, babe,” Karin says towards the phone. “Naruto’s having an episode. Can you get away for awhile?” 

_“Shit. Of course. I’ll make something up. Where am I going?”_

“We can’t find him. I’m gonna start at Jiraiya’s cemetery, Kakashi’s gonna check Minato and Kushina’s. We’ll start from there. Can you stake out his apartment?” 

Something tightens in Sasuke’s chest. Not only has this obviously happened before, but it’s happened enough that Naruto’s most important people have a protocol for it. 

_“Yeah, of course. He usually ends up there eventually. I’ll call if he shows up.”_

“Oh, and can you try his phone? He might answer if it’s you.” 

_“I kinda doubt that, but I’ll try.”_

“Thanks, Sakura. We’ll call you soon,” Kakashi hangs up. 

“Where am I going?” Sasuke asks, putting his bloody shoes back on. Everything else can wait. 

“Nowhere,” Karin says, plucking her keys off the counter. She almost barrels past him, but he manages to stop her. 

“What the fuck, Karin? I can help find him, just tell me where to look.” Sasuke is losing his patience. 

“You’re supposed to be dead, Sasuke,” Karin snaps. “If you’re seen by the wrong people, then this was all for nothing. Besides, you’re fucking covered in blood and that’s not what he needs to see right now.” 

“Fine, let me change real quick and I’ll throw on a beanie and sunglasses. I’m coming with you.” Sasuke stands his ground in front of the door. She can’t honestly expect him to sit here while Naruto is missing and having some kind of meltdown. 

“Sasuke, so help me god, if something happens to him because you slowed me down and I couldn’t get there fast enough, I will never forgive you. Now get. The. Fuck. Out of my way.” Karin growls at him. He numbly side-steps, letting her through. 

Karin flings the door open and disappears before he can say another word. Kakashi puts his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder. 

“I just want to find Naruto,” Sasuke says quietly. He feels lost. The man sighs, looking down at Sasuke’s damp clothes that are drying with reddish-brown stains all over them with a critical eye. 

“You’ve done enough, Sasuke. Just stay here in case he shows up,” Kakashi says tiredly. _What the fuck is that supposed to mean?_ Kakashi squeezes his shoulder before leaving the house as well. 

Sasuke wanders through the safehouse to get to the bathroom inside his bedroom. He sits down on the edge of the bathtub, careful to dirty as few surfaces as possible. _Is this his fault?_

Sasuke’s clothes are a lost cause. Blood is a real bitch to get out. They figured Orochimaru might pay extra attention to the crime scene to verify its legitimacy, so they made it as real as possible. It was Itachi’s idea to make the blood capsules out of their actual blood in case any DNA tests were run. Orochimaru and that freak Kabuto are likely to do something like that. It was also at Itachi’s insistence that Kisame had to be injured and outnumbered for it to be realistic. Sasuke can’t imagine the kind of loyalty that man must have to his brother to roll over and take a bullet whenever he demands. 

Sasuke steps under the spray of the shower head, fully clothed. He closes his eyes to the filthy water swirling down the drain. 

_If this has happened to Naruto before, then how could it be his fault?_

Sasuke peels his shirt and pants away from his skin, followed by his boxer briefs. The hot water gliding over his skin feels incredible. He scrubs down from head to toe, letting the tension bleed out from his muscles. 

He knows he’s needlessly added to Naruto’s stress levels the last couple of weeks. If that contributed to whatever Naruto’s dealing with now, Sasuke will feel like such a monster for not fixing this thing between them sooner. 

All he can do now is sit by the phone and wait for Karin to call. 

It takes a lot of convincing to get himself to leave the scalding water and steamy air of the shower. Once he’s dressed and gets something to eat, he spends half an hour pacing before settling in the living room with Suigetsu and Jugo. He half smirks to himself at the fact that Suigetsu took the jacket off, but his heart isn’t in it enough to tease him for it. Sasuke would usually enjoy the gory, classic horror film marathon they’re having, but it just reminds him of his guilt. He lasts another half hour before he retreats to his room again. 

He pulls the covers over his head to block out the afternoon light and stares unseeing into the darkness. His regular and burner phones sit side by side on the pillow next to him. He doesn’t know how long he waits there in silence. What if they don’t find him? What if Naruto distractedly runs into traffic or something? 

He drifts in and out of sleep, obsessively checking his phones each time he cracks an eye open. Finally, after an eternity, one of them rings. He snatches it off the pillow and answers without even looking. 

“Please tell me you found him,” Sasuke says breathlessly. He sounds desperate, but it’s just Karin so what does it matter. 

_“Found who?”_

Sasuke bolts upright, choking on his surprise. The blanket pools around his waist, letting the cool air of the room hit him all at once. “... Naruto?”

Sasuke can’t contain the hope in his voice. Naruto is okay. In relative terms. 

_“Uh, yeah?”_

“Are you oka-” _Stupid question._

“Where are-” _Invasive._

“Why did you-” _Rude. Hostile. Alienating._ Fuck. 

Sasuke takes a deep breath. He wants to say the right thing so badly but he has no idea what that is. He’s never done this before. People don’t come to Sasuke in their time of need, when they’re looking for kindness and compassion. This is new territory. 

He tries to channel his inner Karin, his inner best-friend-big-sister. “Is there anything I can… do? To help. Or make you feel, um, better?” 

Sasuke cringes through it so hard his face might actually get stuck like that. His uncertain quiver in his voice makes those words sound so fucking stupid. The silence on the other line makes his face flame. He has no idea if he just put his foot down his goddamn throat or swooped in as a knight in shining armor. He feels _so_ fucking stupid. 

_“You’re, uh, already doing it.”_ Naruto sounds hesitant, and like he hasn’t had a drop of water in weeks. His voice is weak and rough; it cracks randomly, turning the ends of some words into no more than whispers. Sasuke wishes he could see his face. 

“Okay?” Sasuke isn’t sure what to say to that. 

_“I mean, I just needed to prove to my stupid brain that you’re really okay. I just wanted to hear your voice,”_ Naruto says softly. 

Oh. 

Sasuke looks at the blankets in his lap with a small smile. Is it fucked up Sasuke finds that kind of ridiculously cute? How can he say shit like that without hesitation? 

“Yeah, I’m okay. It was just an act. And… You’re not stupid, Naruto.” 

Naruto rasps a short laugh. _“Can I get that in writing?”_

Sasuke huffs a laugh too. “Not a chance, dobe.” He pauses before asking, “Is Karin with you?” 

_“Uh, no. Guess she probably mobilized the troops by now, huh?”_

“Pretty much the second we got to the safehouse,” Sasuke confirms. Naruto groans tiredly. “Where are you?” 

_“Jiraiya’s grave.”_ Sasuke immediately jumps to wondering if something happened to Karin. That’s the first place she was headed. That was hours ago. 

“She’s not there?” There must be something telling in his voice. 

_“I just got here a little while ago. I, uh, took the long way.”_

Karin probably checked there first and moved onto other possibilities. Sasuke shoots her a text on his personal phone. She immediately shoots back, _‘40 min away, tell him not to move,’_ which is quickly followed up with _‘tell him I love him and I’m not mad’._

When Sasuke relays the message, Naruto tentatively asks him for a favor. 

“Anything,” he volunteers immediately. Sasuke’s gut clenches at the trusting, unconditional promise but he’s not even tempted to backpedal the offer. Progress. 

_“Can you call her off? I’m kinda tired and I don’t wanna- I just want-”_

Sasuke patiently waits for him, poised to text Karin once he has a reason she’ll accept. 

_“Can you come get me instead?”_ Naruto’s voice is small, nervous, even. Nothing like the bright, loud, ball of energy he should sound like. The request makes his heart flutter and his breath stop. 

Sasuke must have waited too long to respond in his shock because Naruto quickly says, _“Ya know- never mind. That’s- You don’t have to do that. You’re supposed to be in hiding and that’s not fair to ask and I’m sorry, please forget I said any-”_

“ _Naruto_ , stop. Of course I’ll come get you. I’m closer anyways.” 

Karin responds to his text immediately with the address of the cemetery and a stern _‘don’t be an ass but don’t treat him like glass and DON’T be seen.’_

“I’m leaving right now. Karin will meet us back here at the safehouse.” Sasuke snags a few water bottles on his way to the garage, before leaving in Jugo’s car, appreciating the fake plates Kakashi acquired for it. 

_“Okay. Thanks. I- You’re- Thanks, Sas.”_

* * *

Naruto pulls the burner phone away from his ear and stares at it in wonder. 

Sasuke is on his way. 

He’s probably just doing it to be nice but- oh, who is he kidding? Sasuke has never done anything for the sake of being nice or polite in his life. Which means…? Gah! It’s no use looking for meaning where there is none. Naruto’s sure it was just convenient for Sasuke to come pick him up… when he’s in hiding… and can’t use his own car… and there’s plenty of other people who could have done it in his place. Yeah, it’s probably just convenient. 

A fat drop of rain smacks Naruto’s forehead, startling him out of his trance. He tips his head up toward the sky, letting the refreshing, light sprinkle wash the sweat and grime from his skin. After he blacked out, he must have wandered through every alleyway and side-street in Konoha for it to take him so long to get to the cemetery. By the time his head started to clear, and he found himself plopped down in front of Jiraiya’s grave, the sun was hanging low in the sky and his legs felt like rubber. Now he feels more awake than he has for hours, like a mental fog has lifted, finally letting him think clearly. 

The grave site is kind of shabby compared to the rest of the cemetery. The grass here, on the outskirts of the field, is a little longer than it should be, with weeds sprouting up randomly among the sod. The plain headstone is already starting to show signs of weathering. To any random passersby, there’s no indication this man meant anything to anyone. No fancy, personal inscription under the name and dates. No flowers in the little holder on the side. 

It’s sad, in a ‘we’ll all end up here eventually and one day everyone who knows us will too’ kind of way. Naruto made his peace with that a long time ago. Coming here reminds him that just because some of the people he loves are gone, that doesn’t mean he’s alone. And even if the people he still has one day leave too, that won’t stop him from loving others after they’ve gone. This place reminds him that living in constant fear of loss is no life at all. It’s a reminder he needs often. 

Jiraiya’s headstone darkens with every drop of rain that splatters the grey slab. By the time Naruto hears soft footfalls approaching from behind him, the rain has grown into a light, steady shower, and the sky is dark with gloomy storm clouds blocking out the sunset. He doesn’t budge from his spot on the grass, perfectly content to sit here in the rain a little longer. 

Naruto doesn’t turn to look when the footsteps stop, nor when his companion lowers themselves onto the grass next to him. He lazily plucks the grass in front of his crossed legs, searching for some combination of words that’ll convey ‘I’m sorry for being a burden, but please don’t leave again because I don’t want to exist without you anymore’ without sounding so desperate and nightmare-ishly clingy. Naruto barely opens his mouth when the silence breaks. 

“You don’t have to talk about it,” Sasuke says. Naruto spares a glance at the man at his side, wishing he could read his thoughts, if only for an instant. 

“You don’t want to know?” Naruto asks, voice still rough from dehydration. His throat feels like two strips of sandpaper grinding together every time he swallows. 

“That’s not what I said.” Sasuke tosses a plastic water bottle into his lap. Naruto quickly twists the top off, and mutters a grateful “thanks.” He doesn’t bother to specify what for. 

They sit in silence for a few minutes, letting the rain wash over them. Naruto’s surprised Sasuke isn’t complaining about his idiocy and how they’re risking catching colds by staying here. He’s also surprised Sasuke isn’t hounding him with questions. That’s the reaction he’s used to, and quite frankly, if the roles were reversed, Naruto’s not sure he’d be able to keep his worry and curiosity in check like that. Maybe Sasuke just doesn’t care enough to ask. 

“It’s today,” Naruto murmurs, vaguely gesturing to the dates neatly etched into stone in front of them. Sasuke hums in response. 

“This happens every year,” Sasuke says. It’s not a question. 

“Well, no,” Naruto pauses. “This is… probably the worst anniversary since it happened.”

Sasuke doesn’t pry, but Naruto almost wishes he would. This would be easier if he could pretend it’s being forced out of him. Naruto gulps more water, stalling for time. 

“The anniversary always sucks. I’m sure you get it. But it’s not usually, like, panic-attack-blackout-level sucky, if that makes sense.” 

“Sure,” Sasuke says softly. “So what made this year different?”

“Probably stress and stuff. The last few weeks have been, uh, kinda shitty for me.” Naruto’s gaze darts away guiltily. He’s really not trying to accuse him of anything. 

“You can say it, Naruto. I’ve been a complete asshole and you didn’t deserve it. I caused this.” Sasuke’s voice is under tight control. When Naruto’s head snaps in his direction, Sasuke’s face gives nothing away either. 

“No. Years of trauma and neglect caused this,” Naruto says angrily, trying not to raise his voice. “But, yeah, you were an asshole. In case you needed confirmation, teme,” Naruto lets his voice soften with fondness. He’s never been one to hold a grudge. If Sasuke’s ready to deal with the weirdness and move on, then so is he. 

“I’m-” Sasuke’s brows furrow as he works his jaw, like he’s stealing himself for whatever he needs to say. Naruto eyes the splashes of blood dried on Sasuke’s shoes. It doesn’t bother him so much anymore now that he’s come down from his panic attack. 

“I’m sorry,” he says slowly, enunciating every syllable like he’s voicing them for the first time in a new language and he’s trying really hard to get the phrase right. It’s weird and kind of impersonal, but the fire burning in his eyes clues Naruto in on how serious he is. 

“I have issues,” Sasuke says, just as slowly. Naruto snorts at the understatement. Sasuke spares him an exasperated glare before continuing. “With trust. I wasn’t expecting-” Sasuke waves his hand up and down at _all_ of Naruto, face twisting up in discomfort.

“It blindsided me, how easy being around you is,” Sasuke says, eyes reflecting a world of guilt in that moment. “It hit me all at once and I didn’t handle it well, and for that, I’m so sorry, Naruto.”

Well, since they’re being honest. 

“I kept wondering what I did wrong,” Naruto confesses. It comes out like a geyser, and he’s helpless to stop the word-vomit. “Like, I would lay in bed for hours and just run my brain in circles trying to figure out what I did to make you hate me so much. At first I thought I went too far that night at the bar, crossed a boundary I didn’t know you had. But then I thought about all our stupid fights and how I always fuck up your coffee on purpose ‘cause your face was hilarious that first time and I wanted to see it again. And I thought, y’know, maybe you were sick of me the whole time and finally stopped pretending you weren’t. And, well, it felt like I deserved it. ‘Cause I’m kinda fucked up in the head, if you can’t tell, and sometimes I forget people aren’t _supposed_ to treat you like dog shit on their shoe. But it still hurt. Like, a lot. ‘Cause I thought you were my friend.”

Naruto gasps in a shuddering breath, thankful that the tears leaking from his eyes are indistinguishable from the rain steadily pouring down. He’s completely soaked, freezing to the bone. His uniform polo from the cafe is uncomfortably glued to his skin. 

Sasuke’s hand grips his shoulder, forcing him to turn his direction. It’s getting pretty dark out, but Naruto can clearly see his eyes shining with a million emotions, not one of them pity. His wet, inky black hair is pasted to the sides of his head, perfectly framing his beautiful face. Rivulets of water are dripping from the tip of his nose and chin. 

“I’m kinda fucked up in the head too, if it’s not obvious,” Sasuke’s lips turn up in a subtle smirk. “I’m sorry I made you feel like that. You didn’t do anything wrong. If you- If you still want- to be my friend, then I-” Sasuke swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing harshly. 

“As far as I’m concerned, you’re still my friend. One of my only-” Sasuke’s declaration is cut short by Naruto knocking the breath out of him with a fierce, sudden hug. Naruto rests his forehead against Sasuke’s shoulder, arms wrapped tightly around Sasuke’s, pinning them awkwardly in place. He feels Sasuke’s arms wrap around his back as far as they can reach, stroking his spine as Naruto huffs happy little sobs. 

A roaring crack of thunder makes Naruto jump back, making Sasuke snort in laughter. Naruto beams in response. The mental torment that’s been weighing him down has dissipated, leaving him feeling lighter than air. 

“Let’s get out of here, bastard,” Naruto says, standing up to pat Jiraiya’s headstone before turning back to his friend. _His friend._

“Does this mean you’ll stop sabotaging my coffee now, dobe?” 

“Don’t count on it,” Naruto laughs, following him to Jugo’s car parked in the lot right outside the field. As the only vehicle present, it’d be hard to miss. They climb in, instantly soaking the seats. 

“Keep that shit up and your instant ramen stash might mysteriously go missing,” Saskue says, slicking his hair back in a way that definitely shouldn’t look as good as it does. 

“You wouldn’t!” 

“Well that all depends on you, now doesn’t it?” Sasuke chuckles, fishing the keys out of his pocket. Naruto grins despite the threat. 

“I missed this,” Naruto admits softly. “I missed you.” 

The rain beating heavily down on the windshield is almost loud enough to drown it out. Sasuke could easily pretend he didn’t hear him. 

Instead, Sasuke leans back in the driver’s seat, head tilted back but facing him. Naruto mirrors him, leaning against the headrest. It reminds him of the first time he really talked to Sasuke after learning who he was. Even then, Naruto was pulled in by Sasuke’s deep, captivating eyes, which are now staring at him with too many feelings for Naruto to pin down. 

“I missed you too.” 

“We’re friends,” Naruto says, somehow both in question and warning. The air crackles with tension between them. 

“Yeah. Friends,” Sasuke confirms. His eyelids relax to half mast, taking in Naruto’s face piece by piece. When they lock eyes again, Naruto’s whole world ends and begins again in that moment. 

They lunge for each other at the same time, it feels like. 

Sasuke’s hands, still icy from the downpour outside, dive into the rain-matted hair at the back of his head, pulling Naruto to meet him halfway over the console. Naruto plants an elbow on the hard plastic, leaning in further to snake his free arm between Sasuke’s, hooking a hand around the back of Sasuke’s neck to drag him into the most desperate, carnal kiss he’s ever had. 

Naruto groans, uninhibited, lips parting for Sasuke’s questing tongue. He surrenders whatever control he has left to the man skillfully reacquainting himself with the topography of Naruto’s mouth. Fuck, Sasuke _would_ be the best kisser he’s ever met. 

The sensual slide of Sasuke’s tongue against his as Naruto licks into his mouth in return sends a shiver down his spine, makes the hair on the back of his neck prick up. Naruto drags his palm down Sasuke’s neck, and he can _feel_ the purr rumbling from his throat. He keeps going, palming and groping Sasuke’s shoulder, chest, side, back, everywhere his hand can reach. 

His exploration is rewarded with a sudden growl, and a separation of their lips as Sasuke ducks his head to lick and nip down Naruto’s neck with eager aggression. Naruto slips his hand under Sasuke’s drenched shirt, digging his short, blunt nails into the skin of his lower back as Sasuke worries the skin of his pulse point between his teeth.

“Sas-” Naruto gasps a loud moan drowned out by another deafening clap of thunder. 

Sasuke rears back, pulling and pushing Naruto until he understands what Sasuke’s after. He clambers into the backseat with little grace, banging his knee into the console on the way, likely leaving a nice bruise for him to discover later. 

The second his back connects with the seat, Sasuke descends on him like a fallen angel whose sole purpose in life is tempting him with his own dark, dirty fantasies. He settles in Naruto’s lap, knees bracketing his hips, plush ass pressing against his thighs- and _fuck_ \- Naruto’s already hard as a rock. 

Sasuke kisses him with single-minded devotion. Naruto’s hands wander over his body, appreciating the sharp planes of his muscular frame and gentle curve of his spine. He grabs Sasuke’s ass with both hands, jerking his hips forward to grind against his aching cock trapped beneath his sopping wet pants. They moan into each other’s mouths at the sudden friction. And dammit, if that’s not the hottest thing he’s ever heard. 

Sasuke shimmies back, making room for his hands to frantically pull at the button and zipper on Naruto’s pants, lip caught between his teeth in concentration, when a loud ring fills the car. Naruto groans in frustration, cursing whoever is calling Sasuke at a time like this. Sasuke snarls, twisting around to snatch his phone from the cup holder, shoving it into Naruto’s hands so he can return to his mission. 

“Hello?” Naruto watches him with an all-consuming hunger, sighing in relief when his cock is finally free of its confines. 

_“Naruto!”_ Karin shouts into his ear, _“Where the fuck are you guys? Did you get stuck somewhere in the storm?”_

“No, we’re on our way.” Naruto tries to keep his voice steady. Sasuke wrestles his own joggers off his slim hips, performing a true feat of flexibility to wrangle them off one leg so he can straddle Naruto once more. Naruto watches the brief show, one hand gripping the base of his shaft, his own jeans bunched around his knees. 

_“How far out are you?”_

Once Sasuke has settled, long, pale legs draped artfully on either side of him, he bats Naruto’s hand away immediately. Sasuke practically rips his t-shirt over his head, exposing more silky smooth skin. 

“Be there in ten.” 

_“Okay, goo-”_ Naruto chokes back a groan as Sasuke impatiently grinds the heel of his hand against his shaft once, twice, making Naruto’s hips jolt up, head falling back against the headrest in pleasure.

“Twenty! _Ah, shit_ \- Twenty!” Sasuke rips the phone away from his ear, Karin’s shouts of _“Oh, ew, fucking gross Naru-”_ suddenly cut off as he hangs up and throws the phone back into the front seat. 

He pulls the bottom of Naruto’s polo up far enough to expose his clenched abs, and stuffs the fabric into Naruto’s mouth. 

“Hang onto that for me, dobe,” Sasuke whispers into his ear, both hands sliding over his stomach. Naruto moans around the shirt, dick twitching with want. Sasuke pushes their cocks together, wrapping one hand around them, pumping up and down their shafts in a heady pace. Naruto bends his head down to watch and _fuck_ -

Nothing prepares him for the flare of heat that flickers in his gut at the sight of Sasuke’s elegant, pale fingers choking their dicks, tips both furious red, and moving with deliberate strokes. A spurt of pre-cum erupts from his slit, slicking the path of Sasuke’s palm. 

His hand moves to join Sasuke’s, but it’s smacked away before he can touch. Naruto whines in protest. Sasuke harshly grasps his wrist, planting his hand on his smooth, toned chest instead. Naruto greedily accepts the invitation, kneading the flesh under his hands with fervor. 

Sasuke leans into the back of the driver’s seat for leverage, knees widening around Naruto’s hips, and starts thrusting his hips forward to fuck into both his fists holding them together. The additional friction combined with the sight of Sasuke’s body, gorgeous and writhing, in his lap has Naruto leaking like a fucking faucet. Pleasure is coiling tighter in his groin by the second. 

A bead of sweat rolls down Sasuke’s neck, and Naruto follows the compulsion to smear it into his skin. He flicks Sasuke’s pebbled nipples with his thumbs, tearing a gasp out of him. _Fuck, yes, he’s so sensitive._

Sasuke thrusts against him in fast, short strokes, panting into the space between them, voice so rough it practically comes out as growls. Naruto drags his nails down Sasuke’s sides, making him hiss in pain, hips stuttering mid stroke. 

When Sasuke starts twisting his fists up and down their cocks, Naruto’s eyes roll into the back of his head. _Fuck fuck yes!_

Naruto moans loudly through the shirt like a fucking oversensitive virgin, shouting garbled, incoherent nonsense. He rolls Sasuke’s nipples between his fingers, before pinching them harshly. 

Sasuke whimpers- _actually whimpers, fuck_ \- and throws his head back with a gasped “fuck!” Naruto feels Sasuke’s cock pulse against him, cum splashing against his stomach. The tension coiling in Naruto’s gut snaps, and he plummets head first into his orgasm. He clasps a hand around Sasuke’s fists, jerking them up and down even faster as Naruto comes over their hands with a shout, fabric falling from his mouth as his jaw hangs open, hips jerking to chase the sensation. 

“Holy fucking… _wow_.” Naruto blinks blearily, coming down from the high. Naruto takes the time in the silent aftermath to properly appreciate Sasuke’s naked body on top of him. 

“Mm hmm,” Sasuke’s heavy panting is starting to even out. His hair is perfectly fucked up. His lower lip glistens as though he just licked it. Naruto leans forward to kiss his chest, mouthing at one of his nipples, earning an overstimulated hiss and a shove to his shoulder. He smirks into Sasuke’s skin, licking his way up to his neck as his hands travel down those delicious thighs spread out around him. Sasuke hums, dick twitching between their bellies in a valiant effort to rouse again. 

Sasuke pulls him into a kiss, slow and methodical. It’s different from earlier, but still _so good_. When he pulls back, Sasuke rests his temple against Naruto’s forehead. They’re both sweaty and disgusting, still damp from the rain, and tired from an outright emotionally exhausting day. And yet, Naruto is perfectly content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a scale of 1-10, how obvious is it that I'm a smut writer through and through? XD 
> 
> This is baby's first plot fic and I'm just going with the flow at this point. Hope you're still enjoying it! Thank you for all the comments and kudos! 
> 
> Title for this chapter is a French word that essentially means "the happiness of meeting someone again after a long separation" and I think it's beautiful they have a word for that.


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